Giftie Etcetera

Organizing Tips That Don't Work For Me

2012-02-10T12:23:00.000-06:00

I am fascinated by the idea of being organized. However, many tricks that experts use have been FAILS for me. What's with me that these things work for others but not me?

For example, I washed my microwave today by boiling water and white vinegar in a bowl in the microwave and then wiping down. I loved the idea. No scrubbing. No harsh products in my food later. After all, I eat vinegar, right? I love vinegar.

Um, not so much. My entire house smells like I douched it. Gag.

I also read that the trend in organizing is to have a mail station. But why? My husband pays 90% of the bills on-line. For the other stuff, I have a checkbook in my wallet and just send the check to school or drop it off. I rarely mail anything. Who is using all this snail mail? It would be wasted space for me.

Others swear by on-line organizing of their calendar and task list. I tried it. I love my Palm, but otherwise, I just can't do it. I NEED my paper planner. When I write something on-line, it's like it goes to Never Never Land.

I see pictures on Pinterest of organized kids' rooms. Are you freakin' kidding?!? Their rooms would stay like that for 2.2 seconds. I get using big, throw-in containers and baskets. But organized legos by color? Not happening.

Etcetera.

Since September 2010

2012-02-09T12:59:00.001-06:00

Wow, it's been a while since I blogged. I guess facebook and Pinterest eat up my on-line time. I looked back at my last post, from September 2010. It was about how crazy my life was at the time. Almost a year later, I quit my job to stay home, refocus, and take care of Loki. I'm definitely emotionally better. I guess I need to see how I do physically through this break. And I guess I need to start job hunting seriously, since Loki goes back to school in the fall.

Etcetera.

Priorities

2010-09-19T16:18:00.000-05:00

This past week was so busy that I had to cut corners somewhere. Mostly, I slept less, which was likely unfortunate for everyone around me. I ate less, too, just because I didn't have time to eat. But, mostly, I did things a little less thoroughly than I usually would. I wasn't 100% at anything. And I felt (unreasonable) guilt about it the entire time. Every second that the tv babysat my kids, every moment that I was tired and had to reread a sentence at the office, every hour that I threw things into boxes instead of sorting and packing - I feel guilty.

Instead, I need to learn from this crazy last week. I have priorities and they are the most important things. Unlike the past, when work was everything, I need to focus in other places. Maybe I could give 95% at work or something. :) Seriously, though, my kids and husband need someone kinder and more relaxed. I need to find time to grocery shop, cook, and work out. I need to keep our space usable (while, mostly, Alan keeps it clean). I need to find time for myself, to read, blog, and recharge (translation: sip my coffee instead of gulping it).

This whole idea of reprioritizing scares my husband, I suspect. He is scared not giving a 100% means I won't make enough money or that I'll laze around on the couch. But it doesn't mean that at all. It means I can focus on my family and my health (both mental and physical), instead of stressing like a crazy person.

Etcetera.

Packing Boxes

2010-09-12T10:39:00.000-05:00

Home Depot is one of the cheapest places to get packing boxes. Who knew? We didn't. We've never needed to pack so fast before. But since we put the house on the market on Thursday, so need to pack the *extra* stuff so that the house looks as empty as a lived in house can look, for showings to potential buyers. We rented a POD and spent yesterday boxing things up. It's hard work and requires a lot of thinking, since you still need to be able to find everything if you need it.

I am doing boxes by the room they will go to in the new house. You know, assuming there eventually is a new house. I note the room on the top and two opposite sides of the box and list the contents on one side. I'm really trying to purge whenever possible so that there's less to store and unpack. If it's over four years since we used something (about when we moved into our house), I toss (Goodwill, recycle, or garbage) unless there is an overwhelming reason not to do so. Once boxed, Alan takes the item to the POD. It's a pretty smooth process, except that Alan is also washing the house and fixing little things the whole time.

Monday, people can start peeking in our closets. I am not ready for that.

Etcetera.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

2010-08-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

I hated that book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. The small stuff is what causes all the problems!

So many small, but annoying, things have happened recently. It leads to stress and feeling overwhelmed.

On Monday, Loki threw up in my car. It meant a $60 seat cleaning (trust me...it had to be done professionally) taking up my Saturday morning, pre-cleaning (outside of work hours, anyway), driving to backup sitter twice on Monday (drop off and pickup), extra laundry, and arriving late at work on my first day back from vacation.

On Tuesday, I threw up. No work for me, meaning the vacation backload is overwhleming.

Tuesday night, the mocriwave died, costing $120 bucks and Wednesday night at Walmart buying a new one. Oh, and we ate out Wednesday night, because we had no microwave and had to leave the house.

Thursday, an emergency came up at work and I was required to work overtime, even though I had to pick up Loki from daycare in 10 minutes and babysit for my sister, who was waiting at my house.

Friday, I got lost in downtown in heels and a black suit with no car (don't ask), ran late to a meeting because of it, and then found out the meeting was hours longer than expected and had to miss another important meeting.

Saturday, I spilled coffee all over a brand new $26 library book. Neither of my kids would eat the lunch I prepared (crackers and bananas and peanut butter for dipping...why the heck won't they eat that???) and my friend had a sick kid, so our coffee shop date was cut (understandably) short.

Oh, and now we have a broken microwave and a broken tv (from last month) complete with the accompanying electronic equipment and huge furniture to somehow throw out. Sigh.

See, it is the small stuff that sucks.

Etcetera.

My Paper Rules (For Myself)

2010-08-13T09:21:00.000-05:00

My new paper planner consists of a weekly calendar and a task list. There are details that I need to remember, but it's been almost a decade since I used a paper planner.

1. Put a box around things that need to be copied into next year's planner, like my anniversary. That way, next year, filling the repeating dates in the planner only takes a moment of flipping through 52 pages for boxed events.

2. Keep a list of dates starting August 2011, when the paper planner ends, to schedule things for next year.

3. Write am events in the top half of the day's box and pm dates in the bottom half. Makes it less likely I'll miss something.

4. Cross things out when they are done - or else!

5. On task list, make sure to put dates next to time sensitive stuff. If something is CRITICAL, also put the deadline in the calendar.

Etcetera.

Paper Oh Paper

2010-08-13T09:09:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, I purchased my first paper calendar since I bought my Palm pda in 2001. For me, this is a huge deal. I loved my palm. Every date, every address, every task - all of it was in my palm. I checked it everyday. I was a law student, so I synced it to my computer on a daily basis. Finally, palm moved to all cell phones, while I was working in my law office, and I bought a palm cell.

Frankly, I hated it. I constantly found myself dialing a number while I was trying to look something up. The new desktop software would never sync perfectly with my old data (some from 2001) and much of it was lost. It only stays charged for about 9 hours. Ugh.

When I got to my new job last October, we had to use a blackberry. I like the blackberry much better, but I hate Outlook. It syncs funny to my blackberry, so that even though all the tasks are there, they are hard to find and harder to read. You can't just glance and see if a note is attached to the task. I depend on my IT department (rather than myself) to keep it syncing. And everyone at work can see my calendar. Of course, I can make all my personal stuff read private, but what a pain! The twist is that I have to use Outlook for work appointments, so I felt forced to use it for personal stuff. I am a BIG believer in one calendar, but it was becoming clear that if it had to be Outlook-based, I wasn't going to get used to it.

So I'm now a two calendar girl. If something personal is happening during the workday, it will go on my blackberry and personal calendar. That rarely happens, because I'm busy working at work. If something work-related goes beyond work hours, it goes on both calendars. Otherwise, work goes on blackberry/Outlook and personal goes on my paper calendar. Since I always have my blackberry with me, I think it'll work out. And there's just not a good handheld option. All the handhelds now just seem to be extensions of the desktop. And I want to do my calendaring at the parent-teacher conference (when the teacher asks us to bring snacks to class next week) or at the grocery store (when they are out of Tide Free and I need a note to get some on Monday) or at dinner (when a friend wants to follow-up with coffee next week).

The one caveat is that addresses are still all going in Outlook. My blackberry is with me and it does that really well.

Next blog entry: all the crap I need to remember about using a paper calendar!

Etcetera.

Discipline in Public

2010-08-09T16:39:00.001-05:00

I try to discipline my kids exactly the safe way in public as in private. High but reasonable expectations for behavior. Calm, clear instructions. Follow-through on reasonable consequences. But, damn, it's hard.

First of all, reasonable expectations mean that, sometimes, my kid is doing something that I allow simply because of his development, but I get looks from others. For example, in a restaurant, at some point Loki (almost 2) can get down and walk around. To be fair to others, he certainly cannot go up to people at other tables or get in the waiter's way. But he can walk near the table, after the main meal has ended, while grownups have dessert, coffee, or chit chat. Developmentally, he can only stay in the chair so long. But, and I'm guessing this is because other patrons has experienced little kids disturbing their meals and think I'll let my kids do the same, other customers seem to glare, get uncomfortable, or feel they must entertain him (which totally undermines the whole "don't go by other tables" rules). I think it's absolutely appropriate. He's not screaming, touching others, or unsafe. He can explore, but only in our little area. So I do the same as I would alone. But it's so hard when others are glaring. :/

I also use timeout. With Ander, generally people compliment me. "Such a good boy." "I can't believe he stayed in timeout and then changed the behavior, but he did." "You are so calm and patient with him." But, with Loki, people inevitably think he's too little. They either smile and tease him to cheer him up while he is in timeout (which totally undermines the timeout) or they comment how young he is (though he is almost two and has been practicing in 10 second and up intervals until, now, he knows what is expected). No matter the good result, they don't WANT him to be in trouble, so they are uncomfortable. Also, the public didn't see that I simply redirect when possible (like in situations where no one else is getting hurt and there is no danger to Loki), use tons of positive reinforcement, and don't yell at or hit my kids.

I try to make yelling are rare occurence with my children. I really do, But not yelling at other people for their reactions to my discipline techniques, which are kind, developmentally-appropriate, and, dammit, WORKING - that is a challenge.

Etcetera.

Relaxing at Home

2010-07-30T14:42:00.000-05:00

I seriously considered a Staycation this year. Ander has a pre-K meeting smack dab in the middle of the week we have vacation, so we'll be traveling, then home, then, presumably, traveling again. Sounds like a ton of work, really. But I know I have to leave the house to relax, because, frankly, my family does not know how to relax at home.

As soon as we exit the door, we can chat. We can sip drinks and play in shade and watch little animals scurry around. We can eat tasty food and play games.

But at home, we watch tv or play on the computer. The end. All of us, including Loki, can't seem to get unplugged. And if we unplugged for the "Staycation"? Well, I guess we'd probably die. Family of four, dead of boredom, story at 6.

I've heard tales of others who relax at home. I've heard of family dinners, glasses of wine in front of a roaring fire, and cuddles in the backyard under the stars.

Utter nonsense. Lies, I tell you! Those people make that crap up.

Etcetera.

Personal Assistants

2010-07-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

If you had a personal assistant, what would you have them do? I was walking this morning (a full 5K, but it was too damn hot to run) and thinking about it. I was actually thinking that I really want to start a company, sort of like a temp agency, that contracts out personal assistants by the hour.

In my dreamworld, someone would wash, fold, and put away the laundry, do the dishes every night, and take out the trash twice a week. Alan already does most of those chores, but it would be nice 1) not to have to help out and 2) to have him not busy and spending that time with the family. My personal assistant would do the grocery shopping (mostly my job), prep food for cooking, and pay the bills that need to be paid in person (like the car insurance). They would find all black velcro sneakers for my kid, book my hotels for my vacation, and do that pile of filing in my living room. They would convert the crib to a bed and bring the old playpen to goodwill. They would call the tree service and supervise while the service cut down the tree. They would plan Loki's birthday party and send out invites. And rent Ander's tux for his godmother's wedding. And bring my car to the car wash.

Won't you please send me a personal assistant? Thanks.

Etcetera.

House Dilemmas

2010-06-21T16:45:00.000-05:00

I really like my house. I truly do. I love the openness of the layout, the small yard, and my bathroom. It fits my personality. There are many things I'd like to change, though.

I want to plant a satsuma tree in the backyard. I want the master bath to have a shower instead of just a bath. I wish the boys had a bunk bed and the other room could function as a playroom/guest room. I want the old desktop out of the living room and to rearrange the space so that the tv goes where the fireplace currently sits. I want nice, effective shades and window treatments. I need two new lamps and a dresser in the bedroom. I need two new stools in the kitchen, as well as a nice storage piece for desk supplies (either a roll top desk or an anitque piece). We need to do something about some flooring problems (that we hope aren't foundation problems), need to deal with the siding on one side of the house, and need to buy a new front door. The bedroom and Ander's bedroom need new paint jobs. We need a new comforter set in my bedroom. In short, there's a list of improvements that would make our home perfect.

Except...

There's the commute. It's too long to get home in the afternoon. Once Ander has school events, the commute will be really crazy. Also, we really could use more space. We can deal with the space we have now, with the right storage pieces...but we don't have the right storage pieces.

So what do we do? Move? Stay? The problem is that I worry about moving because of the higher cost of a house in the city. But I don't want to make unnecessary improvements on our house if we are moving. At the same time, I really want a shower. And a tree. And a bunk bed. I feel like I'm in limbo, not spending anything on this house, thinking we need to save it all for a move that may or may not happen.

It's annoying that we only have one working bar stool. The lack of lamp on Alan's side of the bed drives me crazy. The big table in my living room shatters the peace of the room. The sunlight needs to be blocked.

I need to find patience, I guess. But if you know me, you know that's not my gift.

Etcetera.

Saving the Earth

2010-06-21T08:47:00.000-05:00

I do a few ecofriendly things. I use reusable bags about 90% of the time these days. When I do get plastic bags, I reuse them (mostly for stinky diapers). I try to unplug the computer at night. I turn off lights in rooms where we don't need light. I use the fancy foreverish lightbulbs.

But, really, I suck about being environmentally conscience. A lot of it is about keeping peace in my household. It doesn't mean much to my husband to recycle or unplug unused appliances, so he protests the very idea. Some of it is about time. Time is so limited around here that adding anything to my to do list sounds a bit, well, crazy.

But I keep thinking about energy, especially with the oil spill, and I realize that I need to do something. And let's face reality - it won't be giving up my 65 degree a/c setting. So I think I really will designate one of our two trash cans for recycling. Once it is full, we'll just use the other one and toss that stuff, so I don't have old food containers lying around. (My OCD is still stronger than my environmentalist calling and old trash is very OCD inducing.) Now, how to convince the hubby?

Etcetera.

The Summer Camp Shuffle

2010-06-06T20:53:00.002-05:00

Wow, summer camp sure is hard work for the parents. On the plus side, Ander seems pretty happy with it. He still doesn't like getting dropped off in the morning, mostly because he prefers to sleep in and watch movies all day (a la daddy ;)), but he gets an extra 15 minutes of precious sleep in the morning. ('Course, mommy sucks at math, since his bedtime is still between 8:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. and he doesn't get a nap at summer camp...sigh. Perhaps that explains the whiney and the stupids and the obstinates?)

But each day is different and everything is carried by my skinny, weakling of a nerdy kid. (Apologies to child-who-will-not-be-named in the future, should he ever read this, for the nerdy shout out. Surely, he will grow into a cool, strong, manly man.) (Maybe.) Lunch box, complete with two snacks, lunch, utensils, drinks, and ice packs. Ice packs that, I might note surily, have to be refrozen every night and once exploded in a sticky blue cloud in his lunch box. Backpack, with spare clothes and sunscreen every day. Water bottle, with ice. And purple lanyard for carrying it, with pink and baby blue paisleys. Yep, HIS choice.

On Mondays, he needs a bathing suit and towel, labeled with his name. He'll need it again on Wednesday, and we have to wash it in between, because he only owns one suit. It seems silly to buy two suits just to swim twice a week. Well, it SOUNDED silly until each Tuesday night, around 9 p.m., when mommy says, "oh shit! His suit is wet and dirty." {rolls eyes at own genius}

Tuesdays are field trip days. Not only does lunch need to be lighter for carrying on the bus, but he MUST wear his purple shirt, or they don't let him go. And he MUST be there on time. Note that, in my household, purple and red is an entire laundry category. If we would have skipped that batch of clothes, we cannot now.

On each Wednesday, we have to pay $5 cash pizza fee, which sucks because we get out cash on Thursdays, and never in $5 increments from the drive-though $10, $20 or $50 bills only cash machine. Plus, he needs a separate check for tuition.

Friday is sometimes, but not always, theme day. This week? Safari. What do we wear? An elephant nose? It has to be cool and comfortable, so probably a green t-shirt. Because as you know, grass is green. A+ parenting!

Alan does drop-off and pickup, added an extra special layer of fun. He forgets things and gets stressed, so while my darling husband is KING of doing the laundry and dishes (bless him...and I don't mean that sarcastically), I pack everything. I leave for work before he does, so I leave a DAILY list (sunscreen on kid, lunch from frig (dry stuff is already packed in lunch box), backpack, and water bottle) plus a daily list (swimsuit, towel, $5 cash for pizza, check for tuition). I prepack the lunch box and unpack it when he gets home. I have an area of the counter prepared for child's stuff. I am organized like crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. And they locked me in a little rubber room. There where daily and weekly lists in that room. Daily and weekly lists make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

Etcetera.

Sign Language

2010-03-03T13:05:00.000-06:00

We sign a lot with Loki. The director of his preschool has two deaf children, and she clearly signs with him, too. Lately, he's been putting signs together to tell us what he wants - like little sentences. It's really nice. Even though he is talking more and more since the tubes were put in, it's much easier to communicate in sign language. I really hope we keep doing it. With Ander, we slacked off, and now he barely knows any sign language at all.

I am trying to teach Ander the fingerspelling alphabet. I figure it's a fun way to practice spelling words. Now that he is 4 (yes, 4!!!), he is starting to get the idea that letters spell words, and, even better, that only certain letters in a certain order spell words.

Now, if I could just improve hubby's communication skills! LMAO.

Etcetera.

Down Time

2010-03-01T15:58:00.000-06:00

I'm home sick with the flu. No doubt I'll be home tomorrow with two kids sick with the flu, but until and unless that happens, it's just me. I seriously don't know what to do with myself. My house is a mess, and I want to clean up, but I'm too sick. I run out of breath. So I'm stuck watching tv or reading. And, well, while this sounds like fun, it's actually quite sucky.

Also, I sort of really like my job {ducks and hides from the haters} and I find myself checking my blackberry every two seconds, which means I can't even sleep. I sense the vibrate from the other room!

Most people would give anything for three days off, paid, yes? I am bored out of my mind. Plus, I feel icky.

Etcetera.

Cheapest, Simplest, Best Organizing and Time Management Thing I Ever Did

2010-02-21T10:49:00.000-06:00

Well, besides a calendar/planner. Everyone, even a SAHM, needs a good portable calendar and to do list. But, besides having a planner (in my case, right now, my blackberry, though I am torn about whether it's the best planner for me right now), the best organizing thing I ever did was to invest in reusable shopping bags.

Invest is perhaps an inaccurate word. I gathered together all of the cheap totes that I had gotten over the years - the bag that I good at the baby expo I went to when I was pregnant, the computer logo bag my dad brought back from some conference, and a cheapo tote I bought when I used to go to Jazzercise. (Oh, how I miss Jazzercise, but I simply have no babysitter or time.) I supplemented with 100% recyclable bags from Old Navy for $0.99 each, but Wal-mart sells the same thing for $0.50 each nowadays. (Nowadays is such an old lady from South Louisiana thing to say. :))

I've explained this process before, but it's such a time saver that it is worth explaining again. Humor me...I'm a personal organization nerd.

The bags go in the trunk of my car. Actually, they hang on a special hook so they don't actually take up valuable stroller storage space. When I shop, I bring the bags and load them up as I walk through the store. One carries items that go to parts of my house other than the frig, freezer, and pantry (like toiletries, coffee supplies since coffee is keep under the kitchen window and not in the pantry, and baby wipes). Another carries pantry items. Sometimes, that takes two bags, but when it does, it's a good reminder that, perhaps, I am purchasing too much processed crap and not enough good for me stuff, like fruits and veggies. One bag is for our weekly two gallons of milk for the boys. Another carries frig/freezer stuff. Sometimes, I need two bags for that, too. I do get plastic bags on occassion, for lining small trash cans and getting rid of extra stinky diapers, by using plastic bags for the bread and the eggs, so they are obvious when unloading and don't get squished, and sometimes when I forget to bring my recycle bags into the store. {blushes} Honestly, I almost always remember the bags now, though.

When I check out, I unload one bag, then put the bag itself right in front of the stuff that I want loaded in it. Next bag, followed by the stuff I want in that bag. Then I put the next bag down, followed by the stuff, and so on. It sort of forces the cashier to load the bags just like I like them.

The bags are so much easier to carry, load into the car, and unload, so hubby doesn't need to help like he used to. 10 bags of groceries suddenly becomes 4 or 5! And, because they are sorted already, when I get home, I can ask hubby to put the milk and frig stuff away, while I unload the other two bags. It is quick and efficient. The empty bags go on my launchpad (with my purse and other essentials), to go back into my truck the next time I leave the house. A chip clip, binder clip, or other magnetic clip given out for free at some lawyer conference stays attached to the outside bag (as I store them inside of themselves) holds a grocery/shopping list to the bag.

I would say these bags easily save me a good 15 - 20 minutes per shopping trip. Also, because they make it really easy to designate what gets unloaded where, it makes it much easier to share the unloading chore, or, if I am doing it myself, unload only the important stuff (frig/freezer stuff), get the boys involved in something (a snack and a cartoon, maybe?), and then unload everything else.

These really cheap bags also come in handy for tons of other stuff. For example, on Mondays, I bring the boys each a clean blanket to preschool and I bring Loki more diapers and wipes. Cheapo bag to the rescue. I don't bring lunch daily (since I have lunch meetings or am out of the office about 3 days a week), but when I do - cheapo bag. Boys going spend the night with grandma? Cheapo bag for clothes and sippy cups. Going to a friend's potluck? Cheapo bag holds a soft drink and appetizer. If I lose one, so what? They were free or $0.50! I even use them around the house. I'll sort Ander's toys/clothes/crap into one, Loki's stuff into another, stuff that goes to the closet into another, and stuff that goes into my car into another. Then I deliver the stuff (having Ander unpack and put away his own, of course). Library books go into one bag for returns. Workout clothes go into a bag for a quick afterwork run. (Okay, that one is TOTALLY theory. Hush.)

Seriously, if you do one thing to organizing, gather up some totes and start using them for shopping and any other purpose you can think of. Then share your ideas with me. 'Cause I'm that kind of nerdy bag lady.

Etcetera.

I Cook!

2010-02-16T17:27:00.000-06:00

Truly, I'm a pretty decent cook. I only say that because a) my husband is constantly on a diet and some sort of weirdo fool who feels "guilty" if I cook dinner so will not eat with the family and b) my friends ALWAYS seem surprised when they taste my cook, presumably at the fact that said food is edible. I would like to cook, if someone else always cleaned up and watched the kids while I cooked and if I didn't have to eat leftovers for four days (see above, hubby who won't eat with us). I like leftovers, but four days is too much. But I actually am a decent cook.

So, tonight, I made roast and plan mashed potatoes and corn to go with it. Last night, I made teriyaki stir-fry. I make chili about once a month (served in several ways - super nachos, chili cheese toast, or tator tots with chili). If it's cold, I make chicken or beef stew. I make a mean Thanksgiving dinner (turkey, ham, roast, snap beans, sweet potato casserole, and lemon meringue pie).

But I cannot manage a good grilled chicken. It's ALWAYS too dry. And I cannot make a balsamic vinegrette achieve the creamy goodness that is restaurant dressing. If I could do that, I'd have salads everyday.

However, I can cook. You just wouldn't know it, based on my restaurant addiction (because I eat even better than I cook).

Etcetera.

Lenten Sacrifices

2010-02-16T08:11:00.000-06:00

So, I've been thinking and thinking about what to give up for Lent. Yes, I'm a *bad* Catholic. But I'm only *bad* in that I think the Church is wrong about birth control (particularly forms of birth control that block as prevention, as opposed to permanent and hormonal forms of birth control), gay marriage, and male-only priests. I think other ideas, like making a small Lenten sacrifice, are really good. (Aside - except for those of you ***cough***EBeth***cough*** who are giving up Facebook for Lent. You suck. :))

But what to do? I'm considering bringing lunch everyday. Eating out is expensive. Plus, I eat breakfast out, and given my medical situation (I'm on a med that requires breakfast, but I am so nauseous at breakfast time (always have been, even as a little girl) that I get sick if I eat too early or if I eat something that isn't hot. Weird, I know. So I eat breakfast out and that's not going to change. But lunch - I could pack lunch. The problem, of course, is not the temptation at lunch time, but the night before. Will I get around to cooking and packing lunch? Will it take too much time from my family? I'll still have times when I am on the road or have lunch meetings, but otherwise, I could bring lunch. Couldn't I?

Screw it. I'll just exercise four times a week. That's killer, too.

Etcetera.

An Extra Day

2010-02-12T12:01:00.000-06:00

Having an extra day, especially with my teenage godchild around to help with the kids, is letting me catch up on so much undone stuff. I put away remaining Christmas stuff (except a small string of outside lights that we've repurposed as Mardi Gras lights ;)). I've done the filing and throw out old boxes from my law office and done laundry and entertained children and cleaned up little piles of messes all over the house. I've worked on walking with Loki (who is ALMOST walking). I wish hubby was home, but I can't have everything that I want. :(

I wish every week was a four day week. It seems about right for humans to work 4 8-hour days, spend one day doing home-based work, one day off, and one day at church. Instead, something always get chopped. For us, it tends to be church. I struggle with faith anyway, and when Sunday rolls around, with two little kids and sleepiness and laundry to be done - we are more likely to skip that than anything. When we do go to church, we spend the whole week playing catch-up. And, really, are you more efficient on Friday? I'm not. So i propose Fridays off. It's not a lazy issue. It's a realistic, humans need more rest, exercise, and prayer/meditation issue.

Etcetera.

Diary of Tubes (aka...Hey Stephanie, Good Luck on Wednesday)

2010-02-06T11:25:00.000-06:00

My friend Stephanie's twins are getting tubes on Wednesday, so I promised her a play-by-play of the surgery, since Loki is now recovering. Everyone told me the surgery was a breeze, and compared to other medical procedures, I guess it was, but Loki still seems to be suffering after effects.

On Wednesday, we got the call about the timing of the surgery. We fully expected to arrive at 5:30 a.m. Really, we were relieved about the expected early hour, as it's pretty hard to imagine a 16 month old not getting milk first thing in the morning, so the earlier the better. No one said anything about Ander not coming, but we wisely left him to spend the night with Maw Maw. (Good thing - he would not have been allowed back. And we needed two parents in back.) We were ready for 5:30 a.m. Then we got the call. "His surgery is schedueld for 8:30 a.m." Great. Whiney kid in the morning without his milk and breakfast and no chance of returning to work that day.

Thursday was not so bad with skipping breakfast though. We fed him a large supper (including cookies for dessert) the night before and told him, everytime he asks to eat, "soon, baby, soon."

They took him back and I thought it took forever. All the other parents seemed to only wait a couple of minutes. But to me, it felt like I waited and waited.

In recovery, he needed more pain medicine. His iv bled out all over Alan after they removed it. It took a while, I thought, compared to everyone else. He cried a bit, but mostly just looked miserable and coughed. They considered a breathing treatment there...and I ended up giving him one at home later.

For the past couple of days, he sleeps, wakes every four hours and cries in pain until he gets his tylenol, and smiles if he happens to wake up mid-medicine cycle. He seems, I would say, pretty darn miserable. He keeps coughing, so I'll probably have to hold him down for a couple of breathing treatments again today.

It wasn't bad, but I wish I had taken two days off of work, because it definitely wasn't the easy surgery everyone described. Apparently, the adenoid removal makes it worse. But still, he just seems so grumpy and uncomfortable.

Etcetera.

My Black Binder

2010-02-05T15:39:00.000-06:00

My work desk is pretty organized. It has an In box, purely for others to put unprocessed items in for me to process. I process them by dealing with the item (if it is urgent or takes less than five minutes to take care of); filing it (or at least noting the file name and date in the upper right hand corner and putting it in my File box for weekly filing)\; marking my Task list with the need to do the item and, if I have to keep the associated paper, putting it in my Task box; or putting the note on my calendar (if needed) and putting the item in my Out box. Easy peazy.

The real issure arises when I leave the office - for meetings, site visits, personal stuff I need to take care of (like depositing a travel reimbursement check) and for things that need to be done routinely for work, whether I am at the office or not. For that, I have my trusty Black Binder. (Sure, I've tried other colors. They suck, I tell...S-U-C-K, SUCK. My theory? If the binder is too exciting, I don't take it seriously.)

My black binder travels with my laptop in my laptop case. My purse carries all the little pieces of paper that actually have to end up somewhere. For example, my grocery list goes in a special pocket in my purse. A coupon or driving directions to a play might go in a special pocket in my purse. But if it is work-related or if it is personal and needs to be done sitting down at a computer, it goes in my black binder. (Everything used to go in my binder, but it's a pain to carry a binder in the grocery store.) With the advent of mobile devices for keeping track of schedules, a mobile binder for carrying papers seems important, especially if your job takes you away from the office on any sort of regular basis (as mine does about once a week) or if you have lots of personal papers to deal with (like doctor's notes and school stuff for your kids). If you stay-at-home, your binder can sit right next to your computer or, like mine, in your laptop bag.

My particular binder is a one-inch leather binder. The inside front cover has one of those pockets that people can use for business cards. Mine contains my gas card for travel in the state vehicle, a taped-on copy of the chart for figuring out comp time (because timekeeping is one of those things that has to happen for my office, whether I am in the building or not), and some business cards. Also, tucked into the front cover, is a top-spiral bound notebook, for jotting everything. I put dates and tasks in my calendar, and pull pages from the notebook and file them (say, after meetings), but mostly, I just use them as scratch/thinking pads and file them according to date once they are full. Anything that I write in them that needs follow-up is starred and check off when it is transferred to my electronic files.

The next two pages are hole-punched printouts of my weekly outlook for the pay period. I have to keep track of comp time, leave, in/out time, and what projects I work on for a weekly report, so I print these and then jots notes on them throughout the week. I don't use these pages as calendar pages, but as a journal of what I actually work on and when.

Next, I have two clear, double-sided sheets. One contains this month and next month's Outlook monthly calendar printouts (back to back). I don't rely on these for schedule, as they quickly become out-of-date, but they do give me a glance at the dates when I am doing long-range planning and my tiny blackberry screen is insufficient. The other clear sheet contains my office phone list and a map of the districts that we assist. Basically, this is the "reference" portion of my black binder. A mom of a baseball kid might have the team roster there.

I then have NOW and a LATER drop-in, plastic pockets. The NOW one holds information for whatever meetings are coming up, with the most current meeting on top. The LATER holds things I might work on outside of the office (routine reports to be done whenever I get a second, for example) but that I am taking from my Task box at work because I need to have things to do in my down time on the road.

Finally, where most people would put a legal pad (remember, I took care of that at the beginning of the binder, probably because I am left-handed), I put a printout of my weekly tasks. Again, it's a reference only, as I really rely on my Blackberry. But it helps to glance at a paper when I am deciding what to do.

I certainly don't think your binder should look like mine. It should be customized to you. But everyone should have something that works at a bit of a mobile office, even if it's just for trips to the bank.

Etcetera.

I Am So Easily Annoyed

2010-02-02T11:31:00.000-06:00

I'm actually in a relatively good mood today. I slept. I went to bed by 10:30 p.m., Loki woke for milk and cuddles at 5 a.m. but went right back to sleep, and I didn't have to get up until 6:15 a.m. That's like, well, a helluva lot of sleep! It was exciting.

Still, I find myself annoyed by all sorts of little things.

I turned in the wrong driveway when dropping Loki off at the babysitter. (Have I said THANK YOU a thousand times, Sandi? A THOUSAND.)

Loki still has spots, so even though he seems fairly healthy, he can't go to the expensive preschool that I am paying for.

I can breath better today, but still need my inhaler. I tried to stretch last night. Note: I did not walk, run, lift a weight...nada. Just stretched. It wore me out and left me breathless. So much for running a 5K in a month.

I get confused between the words breath and breathe.

The man who sat next to me at the school sign-up was a Toyota dealer. He tried to talk up his vehicles and talk down my Honda. He claims the Honda has the same pedal problem (which would suck). Then he tried to convince me that a recall is NOT an inconvenience. Just 20 minutes, he says. (Right.) (Plus, schedule the repair, getting two kids dressed and snacks and diapers loaded, stepping at the McDonald's for an emergency potty, entertaining the kids during the repair, driving home in Baton Rouge traffic...) Don't worry, he says, we have a family area for the kids to play. (Me: with M&Ms?) Him, with a perfectly serious tone: no, we're not so silly as to feed those kids candy! (Nice. So I can drag them along so you can fix your screwup but you can't handle a kid with candy. Annoying.)

The dads at the school sign-up (which my husband was supposed to take care of, but an emergency came up at work) all had the same line. "We'd rather do this, just turning in paperwork, than chaperone a field trip, so we volunteered." Lucky wives. :(

Despite doing the paperwork during all my free time last night, the school "accidentally deleted mine." They know I did it, because I have a confirmation number and printout, and they are so sorry. They redid it right there and swear I get to keep my place on the list. I'm certain I am off the list now, seeing as everyone else has a printed application in the stack.

On WJBO, Clarence Buggs was spouting crap about how gays shouldn't say they are gay. His argument? He has a RIGHT not to know, just as "they" (his word, not mine) have a right to free speech. Um, First Amendment versus your *make believe* right? Right. I've heard lots of arguments against gays in the military, and while I tend to disagree with all of them, I do not believe for one second that everyone making them is stupid. I just think people who care if someone is gay or not have a different opinion than I do. But saying you have a RIGHT to not have to know. A right to stop others from exercising free speech and their inherent Constitutional right to privacy? That is stupid. I will no longer ever listen to Clarence Buggs. I already found him annoying, but this was too much.

Also, I am annoyed at reports that a judge is racist. Not shocked, of course, but goodness...if I start to get phone calls about a racist judge, then he is pretty blatant.

Finally, I am annoyed that the barista at the coffeeshop put my granita in a paper cup, then poured it into a plastic cup. He was trying to prevent condensation near my computer (so he meant well), but wasted two cups when the drink didn't fit in the paper cup. Go green, huh?

Yep, I am annoyed. Maybe you want to stay away today? :)

Etcetera.

In A Twisted, Nonamusing Way

2010-02-01T14:19:00.000-06:00

The breathing treatments I am taking keep me up. Way up! I maybe slept three hours last night. I am so wired that I can't imagine sleeping anytime soon. I don't want to eat, which really sucks when I have to eat to take my meds. And, while I feel much better after taking them (translation: I can breath), I'm sure this is going to hit me like a ton of bricks sometime soon. Sigh.

In the meantime (translation: while high as a kite on these damn breathing treatments and in manic mode), I am applying (fruitlessly, I'm sure) to private schools for Ander. The thing is, I like his daycare. It has a decent pre-K program (which our local public schools don't offer) and offers extended day childcare, including all days but the state holidays that Alan and I get off anyway. Loki goes there - and I a REALLY pleased with Loki's teacher. Ander has friends there. And, for kindergarten, our public school is a) pretty good and b) FREE! Plus, it's fairly integrated (as is Ander's daycare) - something that might be hard to achieve in a private school. (Aside - Ander only seems to play with very pale white people at school and took home only two lessons from MLK Day: he was shot dead and has a big head. But I can expose him to people who aren't of the same pasty Russian ancestry as his father and keep hoping, yes?)

I'm not sure why I am applying. I think it's because I want options. But, really, can I even handle two schools at this point? What if we ever move to Baton Rouge? (None of my friends in Baton Rouge with kids in the public schools are impressed.) Then again, I don't really want to move. I'm scared of a bigger mortgage. Sure, a slightly bigger house would be nice, but seems a waste for people who don't even buy decorations for the walls. I have the same bedspread I got at my wedding, in 1996. And my walls are painted silvery gray, but we got lazy, so the ceiling is still peach. Nice, huh?

Hey, you people said you wanted me to blog more. You didn't say it had to be quality.

Etcetera.

Sick Kids and Working Parents

2010-01-31T20:19:00.000-06:00

I've been at my new job since mid-October. In mid-November, Loki and I got what I assume was the flu. We were out sick for a week. Since then, Loki has had an ear infection (complete with can't-go-to-preschool fever) at LEAST one day per week. Usually, the fever lasts three days. Oh, and I currently have bronchitis. Honestly, I haven't been totally healed since my bout with the flu. It's not shocking, I guess, since when Loki is sleep, he doesn't sleep (read: we don't sleep). He has to be transported to grandma's for back-up childcare (think an extra 45 minutes on either end of the workday, after no sleep). And he has to go to the doctor (so I have to take at least a half day off). Alan does his share, driving the kids down many mornings while I take afternoon pickup and taking leave for doctor's appointment days in the morning while I take the afternoon, but it's simply not enough.

I'm new at a job, still early in the learning curve, and taking off at least once a week. I do overtime that makes sure the work gets done. My boss has a three year old and a working wife and definitely seems to understand. I still thinks it looks horrible. I can't leave the kids with a retired person, as they might get her sick. I can't leave them with a stay-at-home mom friend, as her kids might get sick. Grandma's house is truly the only option, other than taking the whole entire day off.

How do parents do this without getting fired? In such a tight job climate, I know I need to be there on time, everyday, and stay all day. But it is proving actually impossible. There have been no complaints, but it can't look good.

The tubes on Thursday better go forward (despite the MMR vaccine "reaction" consisting of blazing red polka dots from head to toe). I can handle a sick day maybe once a month (where hubby and I drive to Grandma's or split the day or whatever), but this is ridiculous!!!

Etcetera.

New Afternoon Routine

2010-01-24T20:00:00.000-06:00

So, we've got mornings down. I pack our stuff the night before and leave it in the launchpad. Daddy does dressing, teeth, hair, and snack before I put the boys in the car and go to work. Lately, Loki naps during the ride and Ander and I chat until I get in heavy traffic. Then I put on the radio and we listen to NPR, so I can concentrate on the road.

But afternoons suck. I pick up the boys between one and three hours before Alan gets off of work. That means entertaining the boys, at suppertime, by myself for between an hour and three hours, plus a 45 minute ride home, doing rhyming games with Ander and chatting with Loki. I don't have a plan or routine, so it's pretty stressful. So I've decided to go all Supernanny on the boys and have a routine. They are going to hate it. :)

I've revised Ander's chore chart. The boys will now come home and have a snack (because, frankly, they are starving by 5 p.m. and can't wait for me to make supper). Then homework. Once a week or so his teacher sends a worksheet to color, but we'll do something everyday. This week, we are doing his Raising Cane's card game tomorrow (where he will pick a card and count out as many pennies as the number on the card). Tuesday, it's going to be coloring. Wednesday will be playing with the playdough kitchen. Thursday, we'll practice writing his name. And on Friday, he'll do a puzzle. The point is for it to be REALLY fun, but establish a routine. Loki will sit with his brother at the table, in his booster seat, playing with cars, or blocks, or something similiar. This will give me a chance to change clothes and unload the car.

Then the boys will have clean up chores before they can watch tv. For Loki, this means putting any blocks, etc. into a container (something he loves to do). For Ander, this means cleaning up the living room (putting toys in the rooms where they belong and putting covers in the ottoman)and his bedroom (putting toys away). It sounds overwhelming, but these areas will be pretty clean already and in no instance will I make him spend more than five minutes on each room (meaning I'll help if it takes more than five minutes). While the boys clean, I will pick up the stuff on the island, an area that drives me crazy if it isn't empty.

Finally, IF they cooperate, they will get tv (or computer time) until Daddy gets home or supper is ready, whichever is appropriate. I hate this part, but I need incentive for them to cooperate...and I need time to cook supper and unload/load the dishwasher. I've been trying to make something healthy and that takes a little time.

I hope this works. Maybe this will keep us healthier and keep my house cleaner. Maybe.

Etcetera.

Troubled Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Teens

2010-01-10T11:55:00.002-06:00

When you work with kids - as a teacher, a lawyer, a counselor, a doctor, or a parent - issues regarding sexual orientation and/or gender identity can arise on a regular basis.

I was a 21 year old Catholic school teacher when one of my middle schoolers came out of the closet to me. (The wonderful, sweet, and self-assured girl who gave me a heart attack over how I was handling the situation is my facebook friend. Waves, G.!) I wanted to do the right thing for her - say, by not showing shock, horror, and total lack of understanding, even if I felt shock and total lack of understanding that I desperantly hoped would not translate inaccurately as horror. I was worried about my job. My religious convictions were clear; I would support her and love her and not let the school kick her out for her sexual orientation. My financial situation was precarious. If I lost my job, I would have been in a cardboard box - or worse, living with my mom!

As a lawyer, I often represented gay or transgender kids. Obviously, without their approval, I can't discuss the specifics. But I had cross-dressing clients, quietly lesbian and in the closet clients, and kids who were beat by stepparents for being out of the closet. I had straight clients who experimented with same gender partners while in detention and got in trouble for it. (I say straight because those clients self-identify as straight and likely, in the free world, would only take opposite gender partners.) I saw sympathetic judges who understood that sexual orientation and identity issues often resulted in depression or acting out. I saw judgmental judges who practically added "gay" to the list of charges. I saw it all -and I know it's a problem.

I am bringing attention to this because I suspect that it's not on most people's radars. Lots of people think homosexuality is a sin. I guess, in a way, I'm speaking to those people. First, thoughts and feelings, particularly in juveniles, are not sins. Even if you ascribe to the belief that homosexual acts are sinful, a thought, especially a thought of a hormonal teenager, is NOT a sin. I wonder if those who categorize homosexuality as sinful can still understand that we need to serve children who are dealing with these issues, as these issues can be the catalysts for depression and other mental issues.

But I also want to address those people who are fully supportive of gay and lesbian issues. I want to give a heads' up that we often don't think about what it's like for a teenager or preteen dealing with a type of sexuality that is not considered the "norm" in our society.

I don't have solutions. I just want to raise a bit of awareness that, whether you are conservative or liberal, sexuality issues are real among the juvenile population and we need to stop ignoring them as if they are not there. I welcome suggested solutions.

Etcetera.

Getting Into a Groove

2009-11-07T07:13:00.001-06:00

I've got the new preschool routine down. I remember the key to the building (every parent has to let themselves in with a key, plus enter a code) EVERYDAY now. Lol. I also remember to drop off blankets on Mondays and bring them home to clean on Fridays, pack morning and afterschool snack (just something light, because breakfast is served a little late and afternoon snack a little early, so it helps the commute to be less cranky-filled), check the cubbies, and pay the tuition on Thursdays. Ander has homework about once a week (a little color page - they call it "no-pressure homework" because the kid is supposed to just be given the opportunity to do it and earn a sticker) and he's so excited about it that he asks for homework everyday, so if we get home and he has nothing from school, he's been coloring or writing or "reading" a book while I get Loki's supper done (if Loki is eating something different than us).

I really like that, for work, I am truly off at 4 p.m. everyday. I am forced to take a lunch break. I really hadn't realized how much I was running around like a crazy person at the law firm until I got put on a set schedule at this new job. That said, I get a lot of comp time (from the occassional meeting in New Orleans , or the phone call that comes in a 3:55 p.m. and lasts until 4:30 p.m., or the overnight trip to provide training to juvenile attorneys in another city), so I already have almost two days of leave built up (and will have about three days after next week), in case something happens with the kids. Plus, we get generous holidays.

The housekeeper coming in every two weeks forces us to put things where they belong, so our house is staying pretty neat. I am hoping that I can finally start some of the backlogged organization projects around the house in January, after the busy Christmas season is over. Knowing I will finally have time to tackle those projects is really nice!

Etcetera.

Free Time

2009-11-01T15:47:00.003-06:00

Free time is such a dilemma for me as a mommy. On one hand, I want to spend free time with my kids. After all, they are in daycare all day and surely want to hang with their mommy. On the other, I have tons of stuff that LOOMS to be done around the house. (Looming as we speak - island loaded with Halloween buckets to be sorted out and put away, a roast and mashed potatoes to cook, table cluttered with degrees to clean and reframe and a skirt to hang up, Loki's dresser needing too small clothes to clean out of it, and Ander needing a toy reduction before CHristmas in his room.)

But, mostly, I just want a LONG dinner (appetizers and salads followed by a meal) and a lingering cup of coffee outside of a charming coffee shop, with either my husband or a dear girlfriend. WITHOUT THE KIDS.

I feel the normal parent guilt, but without the recharge, I'm a horrible mom. I snap instead of speaking calmly. I banish to rooms. I get sucked into facebook, because I don't want to face the kiddos. I need some free time. But I worked late two nights last week and Alan works late a couple of nights this week, so it's not looking good. Plus, I have to finish up a couple of little things at the old office this upcoming weekend. Then, it's Christmas shopping time.

Ugh.

Is it naptime yet?

Etcetera.

The New Gig

2009-10-25T09:30:00.002-06:00

Loki is totally ARGH HOW DARE YE about the new preschool. Ander likes the new school okay, but misses Ms. Jenny and Tytus and seeing Maw Maw everyday. Alan misses, I think, the flexibility I had at my old job.

That said, I love the new job. I feel like I am doing what I was born to do. I still like the people, even after two weeks ;), and the office appears to be extremely family-friendly, with dads popping in and out for parent-teacher conferences and moms taking three day vacations to tour colleges. I get to assist with forming laws regarding juveniles and I get to make sure attorneys that represent juveniles have the tools that they need to do the job. I still get to go to court, probably more often. Seriously, how did I get in this place?

We had delayed a lot of transitional things when Loki based on the fact that Alan and I had new jobs, but now we are working on those things. We are teaching Loki to sleep in his own bed. We've been putting him down there forever, but now when he gets up, we sooth him and give him a water bottle. We hope to wean that water bottle soon. We really aren't good at letting him cry it out, but at some point, it comes down to letting him cry in his bed or ours. So, for now, we choose his and rub his back and tell him night night, which seems compassionate but gives him a chance to learn to go back to sleep in his bed.

We also are offering him sippy cups during the day. We will still give him a bottle, if he gets really fussy even with the sippy cup, but we are hoping that will gently wean him from the bottle.

He's still not walking, yet, though. Physically, he's quite advanced for an almost 14-month-old, building with Duplos, throwing a ball, and climbing into a play car, riding it around, and climbing out. He can stand on his own and cruise and walk with assistance. It's more of a deciding-to-walk issue, so I'm not stressed yet. But if the stinker doesn't get in gear by next month...:/.

Ander is fully potty trained!!! Yippee. He is starting to read, a little. It's scary how good he is with words.

Etcetera.

Daily Scheduling

2009-10-10T16:35:00.002-05:00

The organizing and time management books that I read ALL seem to miss the mark on scheduling. The biggest mistakes they all make is suggesting that you schedule time to do certain things, like workout or clean the counter or return phone calls. The problem, of course, is that mood, well-being, and need to return phone calls (or do anything else) has to factor in or the scheduler is wasting her time doing all the wrong things. For my new job (Tuesday, people...it starts freakin' Tuesday which is like tomorrow only three days away gawh!), I am making a schedule (much like I did for every other job), but it's much more flexible than you see in your typical time management book.

The first step in my schedule is my calendar. The key to a workable calendar is to schedule only the necessarry stuff. Routines and goals go elsewhere. So far, my calendar has one entry. I have HR Orientation from 9 a.m. until 11:30 a.m. on my first day. That's it. Note that my calendar does NOT say "return phone calls" or "check e-mail" or "workout." I will make a FLEXIBLE daily schedule, but my calendar will stay filled with ONLY appointments. A meeting with the executive staff Monday mornings at 10 a.m. makes the cut and goes on the calendar. Working out goes on the calendar, but only if I am meeting someone to workout or attending a certain class. Otherwise, working out three to four times this week goes on my goals list.

The next step in scheduling is to have a basic outline of my day that will take into consideration meetings and things that must be done, but will also give me time to work on long-term issues. In making this *outline* of my day, I take into consideration my patterns of wakefulness. The outline is much like the *schedule* time management books suggest, except that it is more flexible, works in my tasks list, and does not clutter my calendar. (I keep it in a memo in my pda and I tape a copy to my desk/bulletin board).

Here's my basic outline. Keep in mind that I'm starting a new job, so it will change as needed. Also, if I have meetings, I start from the beginning of the outline, stop for the meetings, and then move on to the rest of the outline.

*Arrive at work, unload anything coming back from home, make breakfast/coffee

*Process e-mail
(This goes early because it can be done while I eat breakfast and, frankly, because I am picky about an empty e-mail in-box. I will treat e-mail as I do paper that comes to my office - trash it, refer it (assign it to my assistant, pass it on to my boss), act on it (for example, respond if it is brief or add an assignment to my task list or a meeting to my calendar and RVSP/delete it), or file it (if I can't easily get it reproduced from anywhere else or if it is very important).)

*Clean up after breakfast

*Make/return phone calls (as needed)
(I find this is better done early, so people have time to call you back during the workday.)

*Do anything overdue or due today
(The hope is that nothing on my task list falls into the category. The reality is that doing things at the last minute happens, either because I am slacking or because someone else is or because of emergency. Might as well build it into the plan!)

*Process in-box until it is EMPTY
(I use TRAF again - Trash, Refer, Act, or File.)

*Do anything due tomorrow

***IF THIS IS ALL I GET DONE, I AT LEAST KEEP UP.***

*Work on anything due within the next two weeks.
(I start with the most dreaded project and get it out of the way. Then I usually try to do some easy stuff that I can cross off of the Task list. I limit this step to about two hours, max. That's about how long I can truly concentrate on the Tasks that need to be done. Exceptions are made, of course, if there is a big deadline.)

*Work on one long-term project (time-permitting)

*30 minutes before end of the day - put everything away, pack anything that is leaving the office with me, and, if time is left, process more e-mail/in-box

Etcetera.

Transitions

2009-09-27T07:54:00.002-05:00

Changing jobs requires a high level of organization. I need to do everything I can for my clients, including finishing open projects wherever feasible, finding new attorneys to recommend for those projects I cannot finish, and officially withdrawing from as many cases as possible. I need an entirely new wardrobe because the clothing required for a combination of one to two court dates a month, meeting with clients in a small town, and hanging out at coffee shops is very different than that required for constant travel to various courtrooms and city meetings. I have to rearrange childcare, and since no daycares are available, that means hiring someone to pick up the kids and deliver them back and forth to their current childcare. I have to close down the office and cancel all my business contracts (advertising, utilities, insurances, rent, etc.). I have to hire household help because we literally won't be home to do things we normally do. And I have to get started on the new job, including meeting with the new boss regarding a start date, attending the Board meeting to confirm my employment, and filling out state human resources paperwork. Oh, and my laptop goes back to my current supervisor (and I get a new one), so I need to back up my pda on something else. Plus, I have to physically move out of the office.

Overwhelmed is an understatement.

Good thing I have an excellent organization system in place. I can add everything I need to do to my to do list. I can go through my list of clients and send them all letters, based on a form letter I plan to create. I can glance at my calendar and know exactly what is coming up.

I can't wait until Christmas. Somehow, Christmas seems less stressful than October and November will be!

Etcetera.

My Closet

2009-09-26T07:53:00.002-05:00

In prep for the new job, I need new clothes. Because I only had one or two court dates a month before this, I could get away with only one suit. Now, though, I'll have meetings and court (not as the lawyer handling the cases, but to evaluate other lawyers) and public appearances. And no matter how much What Not To Wear says I can mix and match my suit jacket with other bottoms, I really need to have a suit for everyday.

I currently have two black suits - one if old and shiny and one is new - because a petite size suit is impossible to find except in black. So I'll need to get some suits I can get tailored. I have a white and black jacket that I can wear with the black skirt on Fridays. It's too casual for court, but plenty dressy enough for the office. I also have two other skirts that can be worn to the office with the black suit jacket - one is tiny black and white checks (so it appears gray) and one is a light gray, almost silvery, fabric. Both need minor tailoring (a stuck zipper and a too high slit). Still, neither is technically a suit, so those things are only good for office only days.

I bought a brown suit. I didn't wear it for a couple of weeks and then threw away the reciept. I had tried it on in the store and it looked nice. It was only weeks later that I discovered that the color in the jacket and the pants, which matched perfectly under the harsh lights of the dressing room, do nto match at all. It looks horrible, so I never wear it. I really need to get rid of it.

The biggest hole in my wardrobe is probably blouses. I have trouble since I can't wear anything button up, like a crisp white shirt, so I have to shop and shop to find blouses that work.

I'm off to shop this morning, so we will see what I can find.

Etcetera.

On The Go

2009-09-13T18:12:00.002-05:00

Today, I helped Alan set up a simple system in his office for getting ready for meetings. I use a similiar system at home and at work, so i thought I'd share. I've probably mentioned it already, but I call it my Launchpad.

Basically, you should designate a space for THINGS that are leaving the house/office and a briefcase/tote/folder (whatever works for you) for PAPER that is leaving the house. I'll describe my work solution, Alan's work solution, and our home solution so you can steal whatever ideas work for you.

At work, I have a cheap rolling cart that is my launchpad. When I arrive at work and unload my laptop, my open laptop bag goes in the rolling cart. That way, I can't forget to bring my laptop home. My work tote is unloaded (to the extent necessary - if something is only used outside of the office, I don't unload it) and left open in the rolling cart. In my tote bag, I have a brown, drop-in folder labeled ERRANDS. As the day goes forward, I put anything (or have my secretary put anything) that I need for out of office meetings in the errands folder, with a post-it note serving as a label for the document which notes the date and time of the meeting (so that I can have the items for the nearest meeting in the front of the folder and meetings a long time away in back of the folder). If I have court coming up, I pull the relevant folders and put them in alphabetical order in the cart. If I need to bring something home (like a printout of my calendar for Alan), I put it in the launchpad. At the end of the day, all I have to remember is what is in the rolling cart. If it's a lot of stuff (say, because I have court), I bring the whole cart with me.

Alan has an area (a shelf) that will serve as his launchpad. His laptop case and briefcase are on the launchpad. Anything leaving the office goes in his briefcase. He actually goes to a lot of meetings, so he has a meetings folder (like my errands folder). He also has fairly regular meetings with a number of people, so he has folders nearby his launchpad with their names on them. That way, if something comes up that he wants to discuss with someone, he can drop a note in their folder. When he leaves to meet with them, he just grabs their folder.

At home, it's a little bit more thing oriented and the launchpad takes up more space, but it is REALLY IMPORTANT to a smooth life. We have a two-tiered shelf in the coat closet. The bottom tier is for stuff that is leaving the house later, like a wedding present for a wedding next month. The top tier is for stuff that is leaving the house tomorrow/today, like my purse, work bag, keys, bags for grocery shopping with a list attached, or a tote with errands to run in it, like my skirt that needs to go to the tailor. Finally, the top shelf of the closet contains seasonal items that are only used outside of the house, like hats and scarfs and gloves.

Having and using a launchpad is so simple, but saves so much time in the morning and keeps the counters from being cluttered with things that will be leaving the house "later."

Etcetera.

Delegation

2009-09-10T09:50:00.002-05:00

On my quest to get organized, I had to learn to let others do things for me. Not having control sucks. Sucks big rocks. Big, unorganized rocks. Just sayin'.

I was watching the Duggars one day (aside - yes, usually I disagree with them...but they are truly good people with kind hearts), and the mom mentioned how she was helping her friends and that accepting help is a good lesson in humility. It truly is. When I was on bedrest, my friend Karla offered to bring me food. She is allegedly a great cook, but I never accepted. It made me nervous. I regret that. She is wonderful and, had I showed humility, I would have accepted her offer and ate a fabulous meal.

So I am working on it. I am denying my nature. I am delegating.

Delegating at home and work is different. At work, I'm Rachel's boss. Rachel understands that I am a bit anal (if she reads this, and she might, she'll totally comment, "A bit? Ha!"). I understand that I need to leave her alone and let her do her job, which, by the way, she is much better at than I am. But because I am running a business (so, if a bill doesn't get paid, I become jobless) and am a lawyer (who can get sued or arrested for failure to do important stuff), I need to keep track of what she is doing. We have a system where all assignments (except routine filing, mail processing, answering phones, and keeping the office clean) go out by e-mail. Here's the thing, SAHMs: this system might work with your husband. Husband's read e-mail! So pay attention. :)

I send her an e-mail, with a due date, a notation if a document is attached, and a description of what to do. I keep a copy of the e-mail in a folder on my e-mail server called Rachel. And once the assignment is done, she sends me an e-mail that says DONE. If she calls in sick, I can instantly look in her e-mail folder and see what needs to be done. Oh, and the e-mail program I use sorts by date, so I can see how much I've assigned out. When I get a "DONE" e-mail, I delete both the original and the "DONE" e-mail.

At home, delegating is much harder. Alan is mostly in charge of the laundry, dishes, and deep cleaning (like the occasional dusting and vacumming before parties and the bathrooms). I am mostly in charge of day-to-day putting things away, preparing stuff to leave the house (diaper bags, birthday presents, etc.), RSVP'ing and scheduling for the family, cleaning the kitchen (except the floor, which is Alan's), the trash except on trash day (when Alan does it), and any organizing in the entire house. Mostly, we just ask each other for help when we need it.

But I am about to hire someone to help and I am nervous about making it work. I need someone to cut the grass. I'll probably call my godchild, but he is so busy with work that I might have to hire a neighbor. I'm hiring a housekeeper to come in every other week, but I suspect, right at first, she'll need to come in a couple of long sessions, because the house is THAT bad. I'm thinking I'll have her deep clean all seven rooms (kitchen, living room, guest bath, our bath, our room, Ander's room, and Loki's room), then have her regularly maintain the kitchen and the living room and our bathroom every other week, plus one bedroom a month and our guest bathroom during the other monthly visit. I think I'll make a little schedule on the fridge and attach the check and any special instructions to the schedule. I know the housekeeper, so I'll probably hide a spare key (only on the day she is coming to my house) for her to let herself in. Is it okay to leave a batch of towels to fold or sheets that are cleaned to remake the beds? I am also interested in hiring someone to grocery shop for us, especially since Alan and I basically have the same grocery list every week. I think my sister might be interested, but she's really busy, and I'm not sure if it would be worth it for her to come to Ascension Parish. On the other hand, she could shop for her own groceries and the same time, and the way she eats, my payment to her would almost cover her groceries. :)

I also delegate to the kids. Yes, Loki only turns one in a couple of weeks, but he can throw blocks back into the container. I expect him to do so and make it a game. Ander can clean the living room (put blankets in the ottoman, put pillows in his room, put toys in the poroper rooms, and put shoes away) by himself. He can clean his room with just a little guidance. He can put his plate away in the sink and his milk cup in the frig. He gets little stickers on a chart for helping, but it is expected (meaning he would get punished) anyway. Still, we try to make it fun and he is really great about it.

Etcetera.

Task (or To Do) Lists

2009-09-07T09:37:00.002-05:00

For Stacy. ;)

I bet since paper, pen, and mom's existed, there were "to do" lists. Even though I have a great system for my Tasks list (that I'll share below), I still use pencil and paper to make a quick list of things I'm going to do for a specific situation. For a birthday party, for example, I might make a list the day before the party of all the things that are still undone (ie. get chairs out of the closet and set up). Lists keep you from having to think. That's always nice.

If you are a pen and paper person, I strongly recommend a Master Task List and a weekly (or daily) task list, stored with your calendar. Everything gets dumped on the Master list (with a due date to the left side, if there is a due date). If something can ONLY be done ON a specific date, it is more appropriate for a calendar than a Master list. When you transfer to the Weekly list, you scratch out what is on the Master list. If the Master list is just a bunch of scratch-outs, it's time to recopy it. What a pain!

That's why I use my PDA for my Task List. Here's my top-secret, extra yummy, how-to-kick-butt-at-maintaining-a-to-list secret formula, with chocolate sprinkles on top.

First, you need to recgonize that there are things that NEVER make my Task List. If something is an appointment or can only be done on a certain date, it goes on the Calendar. For example, if I am invited to a Labor Day Bar-be-que and I am bringing the ice and brownies, my calendar shows "11 a.m. Dawn's Bar-be-que" and a note is attached to the calendar for me to bring brownies and ice. Since I CAN make the brownies (but not the ice) ahead of time, my Task List will have an entry, "make brownies", due by Labor Day (and Priority 2 and in the Home category, but I'll discuss that later ;)).

Also, I keep a legal pad at my office (and in my tote for the coffee shop and at home if I'm working from the house). If a task is to be done today, it just gets jotted on the legal pad and scratched through as I do it. Only the things not scratched out at the end of the day go on the Task List. For example, let's assume I am at the office. I might have client meetings or court. And I will need to do (or assign a new due date to) everything due today and tomorrow on my Task List. In the meantime, Rachel requests that I review and sign two letters, but as she does, a client walks in. I jot "sign letters" on the legal pad, since I can't do it right away, but will do it today. The client notes that he needs to know how much it is going to cost to serve the lawsuit. I don't check during the meeting, but jot "check lawsuit filing fees and e-mail John" on the legal pad. After the client leaves, I get up to get coffee and realize I need to assign Rachel to order cups for people visiting the office. "R - order cups" gets jotted down and then I make my coffee. Notice I don't have to stop what I am doing to deal with my Task list. At the same time, it is critical that, at the end of the day, all undone jotted to dos get put on the Task list, or this system won't work. Also, take note that if something can be done IMMEDIATELY, I don't write it down. I just do it.

Another thing that does not go on the Task List is anything routine but not especially critical. We have tons of routines. We have a routine for getting ready in the morning, that includes put diaper bag in car and make coffee. But those things do not go on the Task List. If the routine is new, it might go on the Calendar until I learn to do it (if it is really important, like taking daily medications). If many of us need to follow it (like our morning routine), the steps might be posted until we learn it. But routines, like cleaning, are not Tasks. Of course, if there is special, nonroutine cleaning, that goes on the Task List. Routines are otherwise better dealt with as a separate plan, perhaps with a calendar entry to remind you "Daily Cleaning." However, even though paying the bills and refilling the meds is routine, it needs to go on the Task List, because not having meds is bad.

So what makes the Task List cut? Pretty much everything else! Since I use a pda (and the same can be done in Outlook, I think), I can categorize things in a way that works for me. This system sounds complicated, but it works well.

First, my Task List includes two kinds of entries: to dos and projects (otherwise known as multistep to dos). Projects are my secret to keeping my Task List managable. If any to do takes two or more steps, it's a project entry. For example, one entry might be, "pick up dry cleaning." There might be a note attached, if I used a different dry cleaner because of a coupon and need directions, but likely directions are in the "Yellow Pages" section of my Contacts and not necessary. However, if I need to do all the dry cleaning by the time Alan starts his new job on Thursday, it becomes a project because there are several steps. To differentiate projects from basic to dos, to dos all start with a verb (ie. pick up) whiel a project would just have a descriptive title (is. dry cleaning). Attached is a note with due dates:

ENTRY: Priority 1 - Dry Cleaning - 09/08/09 - Category Errands
NOTE:
*09/08/09
-gather all dry cleaning at home (don't forget blue suit in laundry room)
-download coupon from website for one-day overnight cleaning for blue suit
-drop off dry cleaning by 5 p.m.
*09/09/09
@09/09: pick up blue suit
*09/13/09
@Alan: pick up rest of dry cleaning (that I didn't have a special overnight coupon for)

Once I do the stuff listed due 09/08/09, I'll erase those things from the note and change the due date of the task to 09/09/09. Had I listed all the steps, I would have five things on my Task List and it would have looked overwhelming, especially since I can't do many of the steps until other steps are completed.

Now, I want to take about each aspect of the above entry. It doesn't matter if the Task is a to do or a project, it gets a Priority, Due Date, and Category, as well as an @ if it cannot be done until something else is done.

I sort my Task List by Due Date then Priority. Due dates are set realistically, giving me a little cushion (when possible) but not too much. For example, a birthday gift purchase might be due the day before the party. Things I just "might" want to do don't get a due date, so they naturally fall to the bottom of the list.

Priorities are as follows:

1 - MUST do. Paying mortgage is a 1. These are the things that, if you are in a coma, someone else will need to do for you. So, peeps, if I go in a coma, please have someone take care of the 1s for me. ;)
2 - Do. Most things fall in this priority level.
3 - Might do. For example, I might renew my library card, if I actually find myself using it, by January 2012. I might send a thank you note to my friend for letting me crash at her place, but if I don't, it's no biggie.
4 - Pending. All of these entries start with @, like @Alan (meaning after Alan takes care fo his part) or @09/13/09 (meaning cannot do it before that date)
5 - Maybe/Someday. For all those dreams. These usually have no date.

Categories are divided by where I can accomplish them. Anywhere (the biggest category), Home, Work, Errands, Target...you get the idea. That way, if I am at the office, I can make sure to take care of all the office stuff that is due.

I use my Task List everyday, checking it in the morning and updating it in the afternoon. That is the real key.

Okay, Stacy, questions? :)

Etcetera.

Organizing Is Important

2009-09-04T09:45:00.002-05:00

Alan and I had an actual argument, a week or two ago (just so you know I'm not fighting with him and then coming on-line and saying bad things...:)), about in-boxes. You see, being organized is how I deal with stress. If I haven't processed the papers in my in-box, I worry that I missed something. I don't sleep. I eat too much. It sounds silly, but it really affects my life.

So I'm going to try to write a series of mini-posts about how I organize. I welcome tips and feedback. I welcome information that might help me. I'll start simple, although you should realize that my refined system is very complicated and tailored to me and the work I do.

Some topics I plan to cover (so I can keep track):
-using a calendar
-managing your to do list
-working with an assistant
-working with e-mail
-working on the road

Let me know if there is a specific organization thing that you want to ask about. I'll try to tell you how I do it and why.

Etcetera.

Sleep

2009-08-03T21:50:00.002-05:00

We finally have Loki trained to go to sleep. At 8:30 p.m., we tuck Ander in. We then hang with Loki for a couple of minutes, give him a last bottle if he wants one, and tuck him in. He does cry, but it no longer lasts more than a minute or so. It's just a settle down cry. And he doesn't sound like someone is torturing him while he cries, like he did at first.

However, he still gets up at 4:30 a.m. He refuses to go back to sleep. A bottle doesn't work. Nothing works, for hours, unless we put him in bed with us. The problem with that is that as soon as mommy or daddy wakes up to get ready, Loki wakes up, too. And makes a beeline for the edge of the bed. Crash.

(Those two statements were worthy of incomplete sentences.)

We can't just let him cry. He wakes the whole house and doesn't go back to sleep. But getting in bed with us is unsafe. Sigh.

In other Loki news, he climbed two steps at my mom's house today. ACK! And he can stand up without holding on if he just barely leans against me. He repeats words constantly, like "bad" or "eat." He mimics. It's scary how much faster he is reaching milestones than Ander ever did, especially the physical ones. I think it's because he chases Ander constantly.

Ander and I have been talking about mistakes and how everyone makes them. We've been talking about owning up to your mistakes and doing your best to fix them or, at least, apologize.

Etcetera.

Dinner Plans

2009-08-02T17:05:00.002-05:00

I am trying really hard to have two family meals each week. I make things with tons of leftovers that are easy to freeze (chili, roast) or things that are quick and easy (chef salad or tacos). Brien (my friend who stayed over with us this weekend) man fun of me because I watch Food Network while I cook. I also commentate my cooing, so he thinks I'm trying to be the next Food Network star. Ha ha...if only I could cook that well!

Family meals are so stressful. Alan really doesn't cook well (so there really aren't turns), the meals require lots of dirty dishes, and sometimes it takes too much time. At the same time, we sit around the table. I can afford to buy slightly more flavor (veggie sides, better meats) if we all eat. And I don't have to eat THE EXACT SAME FOOD EVERYDAY. But, ugh, it really is a lot of work.

This week will be particularly hard. We have a weeknight Little Gym makeup class and a preschool open house (I think, since I haven't gotten a phone call yet). Plus we have a jammed packed weekend coming up and then a vacation, so I won't be around home much.

I want to be one of those people who cook supper every night. Except for the detail that those people are insane.

Etcetera.

School Supplies

2009-07-18T16:06:00.000-05:00

Since Ander is going to a small, at-home preschool in the Fall, we had a short list of school supplies to buy for him. It was really short and reasonable, including things like fat crayons, blunt scissors, and glue. We made a big deal of it and took a trip to Target today.

Ugh! They were out of, or just don't carry, much of the list. They had the 8 pack of fat crayons, but they were in a separate section of the store from the rest of the colors and were $3 instead of 30 cents, like the 24 pack. They didn't have nap mats, even though every preschooler around here is required to get one. (i had been warned about nap mats by my school teacher sister and had grabbed one at Wal-mart the day they put them out.)

They were out of construction paper. Who runs out of construction paper in JULY? I mean, they had to know construction paper is on every supply list, right? Big, empty space on shelf where it would be.

There was no empty space for primary colored Play-doh (as they only sell pink and orange and bright girly blue), there were only two 2 inch binders in the whole store that costs less than $7 (Ander begged for the pink one...I really wanted to just get it, but I thought he might regret it when none of the other boys have pink), and there was no art smock (though the teacher said an oversized t-shirt is fine, so we might do that).

I'm sure, with the exception of the art smock, that these things are purchased by parents across Baton Rouge EVERY SINGLE YEAR...so why don't the stores order these things?

Etcetera.

Sleep Training

2009-07-13T12:02:00.002-05:00

This morning, before the sun came up, I had a 4 a.m. meltdown. It was not pretty.

Loki will sleep one way - tucked under me. He goes to sleep just fine. A bit of cuddling and he goes in his crib and sleeps, usually until about midnight. Then...

SSSSSSCCCCCCRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAAMMMMM.

He will scream until we put him in our bed. And then, for fun, he wakes every hour or so and wails, just long enough to wake us up. He then goes back to sleep, with no assistance from us. Occasionally, he wakes to nurse. Other than during the night, we are fully weaned, so I hate to say no. But nursing five or six times a night is NOT acceptable.

We never did real crying it out with Ander. Instead, we did a version where we sat on the floor and patted him on the back and hummed, so we weren't talking to him but he knew we were there, until he fell asleep. But with Loki, putting him to bed is NOT the problem. And waking up at 4 a.m. to pat and hum is exceedingly difficult.

What to do? I need to sleep. I really cannot function like this. I can't drive the boys to childcare like this. I keep getting sick. I NEED SLEEP.

Etcetera.

When Mom Gets Sick

2009-07-10T20:07:00.003-05:00

I'm so tired of being sick. I have some sort of virus right now. I knocked me out yesterday and this morning. I felt better this afternoon, but tonight, my stomach is upset again, the cough is back, and I feel weak and beat up. Don't get the wrong impression...I'm not ER-level ill. If I wasn't on Facebook, no one would notice I was sick at all. I was caught up, pretty much, at the office, so this illness won't totally derail me there. And most of it seems to be landing on the weekend. Plus, Alan took off today and did childcare (and cut the grass and did laundry), so we are fine.

But getting sick is so hard when you are the mom. There are so many things that only I can do. Loki was trying to nurse, and on one hand, it's important to give him antibodies. On the other, I was close to dehydration and exhausted. The chores I normally do - like cleaning off the counter and bringing the boys to a playdate - fell on Alan, so mostly didn't get done. Not that he didn't work hard, but he is busy doing his own chores and caring for kids mostly by himself.

It's so unfair. I've been washing my hands like crazy, but I touch my laptop keyboard and then Alan does. Ander kisses me with no regard for germs. Loki, well, slobbering all over me. So I'd better rest up, because round two could hit them anytime.

Etcetera.

Preschool Is Going To Cramp My Lifestyle

2009-07-07T10:28:00.002-05:00

Preschool starts August 10. We've selected an at-home preschool program, taught in a little building behind the teacher's home. There will be six three year olds in the class, where the kids will have a typical preschool curriculum of numbers and letters and stories and art projects. I've read the handbook, put the school supplies on my shopping list, and explained to Ander every morning, on the drive to work, about what his day will be like when he has preschool.

But my day is going to suck.

Right now, unless I have court (maybe twice to three times a month), I don't have to be at work until 9:30 a.m. Understand, I am generally there by 8:30 a.m., even with dropping the kids with my mom. But if there is a blowout on the way out the door, or a mildly sick kid who wants to sleep in for thirty extra minutes, or I need gas in the car, I can arrive late. Usually, I get up as Alan leaves the house at 7ish. I get the boys dressed and ready and get myself ready and go. I give them a small snack (usually, it's a glass of milk for Ander and nurse and/or baby cookie for Loki), but don't have to feed them breakfast. My mom feeds them.

But preschool serves breakfast from 7:30 to 8 a.m. Frankly, I am not going to leave the house with two kids, one of whom still keeps me up half the night, at 7 a.m. to get there in time. That means that I have to feed Ander breakfast and get to preschool around 8 a.m. It's a half hour away, so we need a plan.

I think Alan will start waking Ander at 6:30 a.m., bringing him potty, and giving him breakfast in front of cartoons. I'll need to start getting up at 6:30 a.m. instead of 7 a.m., which sounds like not-a-big-deal, until you consider that I am up all night long with Loki. Sigh. I'll get up, feed and change Loki, shower and dress, and then change Ander and get the kids in the car by 7:30 a.m. Yuck.

Plus, we already planned a vacation - for the first week of school. We'll go the first and second day, and then leave for vacation. Great.

Oh, and I often work from home on Fridays. I still might, sometimes, but it means Ander missing school. :( I know he only really needs about two to three days a week right now (all we could find is a five day program), but I don't want to teach him that school isn't important.

I suspect we'll have to be more strict about bedtime, too, and that will suck. Right now, we sort of eat, clean up, check our fb, bathe the boys, get them ready, read some books, and go to bed. The time varies, depending how long everything takes, from 8:30 p.m. until 10 p.m. If the boys seem tired, we put them down earlier. If they napped good, they go down later. I don't think that's going to continue to work.

Ugh. Preschool hasn't even started and it's a pain.

Etcetera.

I Had This Great Blog All Figured Out

2009-07-06T18:44:00.002-05:00

It was about buying only what you need, checking quality before price, and using coupons (something I never have found a good system for doing).

But I had four urgent phone calls regarding work this morning, no morning sitter, juvenile court this afternoon, and was briefly in the presence of a cat. Cat's make me feel like I am going to die. Slowly. Painfully. And then sneeze and then gasp and then die again. I hate cats.

So no good blog about being a better consumer.

Achoo!

That's all I got.

Etcetera.

Religious Discomfort

2009-07-02T10:36:00.004-05:00

I was raised Catholic. No matter what Catholics do - pray the Rosary, say Grace, or make the sign of the cross while driving in front of a church - I rarely feel uncomfortable with it. I don't always agree with everything the Church teaches, but I try to make sure that, when I disagree, it's a well-thought out and prayerful decision of conscience, and not just laziness. (For example, I disagree with the ban on women as priests. But I thought about it, prayed about it, read about it, and tried to see all the arguments for it BEFORE deciding that I would not act in accordance with that Church teaching. Okay, that one's a cop-out, since I am not called to religious life anyway.) Sometimes, when people pray for something that I disagree with, I find myself reflecting on the arguments for the other side of the issue in my head. But that's not the same as discomfort.

And if I feel really removed from a religion, the ceremonies and practices of that religion rarely cause me discomfort. I think I would be very comfortable at a Wiccan ceremony or a Buddhist ceremony, learning what I can and observing the ritual and finding peace with the ideas (whether I agree or not), because the religions are so foreign to me that I feel like an observer.

But other Christian religions and some of their practices make me very uncomfortable. It's a silly visceral reaction, really, because either 1) I believe what they believe and just express it differently or 2) I don't believe what they believe, so I should feel like a mere observer.

Take a pictures in Alan's home high school yearbook, for example. The teacher had his arms spread away from him like wide wings and there was a caption about prayer. (1989...AFTER teacher-led prayer in schools was established to violate the First Amendment. But I digress.) Teacher-led prayer in public school has always been a problem for me, particularly because of the discomfort I personally feel (and even felt as a child) when the religious is close to mine in belief (say, a non-Catholic Christian) but not in specifics and practice. The picture of the teacher made me shifty, uncomfortable, and, if I am to be totally honest, a bit nauseous. That said, I don't have any problem in theory with this person praying, whether he is bowing to Mecca, chanting to the ancient gods, or worshipping Jesus. Yet I have a physical reaction of slight revulsion (only accentuated by the fact that he was a public school teacher and soem children in the class were forced to participate).

Tonight or tomorrow, Alan and I probably have to attend a funeral of a great-uncle of Alan's that neither of us really know. I am bracing myself for the religious dfiscomfort, because it will be at a Baptist service. I'm sure there will be talk of hell and damnation (which really bothers me at a funeral) and, maybe, just perhaps, someone will raise his arms in a salute to Jesus. And I'll break out in hives, despite my insistence at maintaining tolerance of other beliefs and learning and observing what I can from other religions.

This is abnormal, yes?

Etcetera.

Why Do You People Read This Crap?

2009-06-30T14:44:00.002-05:00

I mean, seriously, I don't write anything interesting. Take today's topic - packing for a trip to MIL's house. Scintillating stuff, really. No mention of Michael Jackson (okay, this one) or Farrah (except here). Yet you still read. Imagine...

Anyway...

I've got my master packing list. It needs to be tweaked to involve a trip to the campground and potential water play outdoors, but it's basically all good. Nonetheless, it's hard to decide HOW to divide up the stuff. Do I pack the diaper bag for the trip up and down? Or do I pack the diaper bag for the trip up, and supplement on the way down with stuff that I pack separately? For example, we probably need three diapers for the drive up. Do I just put the rest of the diapers for the weekend in a separate tote bag? There's no right answer. The bottom line is a baby and a potty-trainer require too much stuff. :(

Alan and I have to pack separate suitcases, too, because I don't share space. Weird and anal, sure, but true. Plus, the boys have just enough stuff that they may need two small suitcases.

Do I bring a small stroller? The big one? The double? Can I even fit one?

Is it rude to bring snacks for myself? MIL has tons of food, but it's slightly off of my tastes. That's fine for one day, but not for several. For example, she might have bread, but it's white (gross) and not wheat. Or she will have oatmeal, but instead of plain, or cinnamon, or maple, or any of the thousand varieties I am fine with eating, she will randomly have peach. Peach! Yucky. Do I have room to pack food?

Not only are you reading my stream-of-consciousness, but I am not offering solutions - only questions. Hmmm.

Maybe I should have napped when the boys did.

Etcetera.

Inspired by Green. Hooked by My OCD Nature.

2009-06-28T19:08:00.003-05:00

Today was the first time that Alan and I used the reusable grocery bags for shopping. I've already used the bags. Yesterday, when we needed to take swim supplies (suits, swimmie diapers, towel, and sunscreen) for the boys with us to a party, my book bag was already filled with my weekly stash of library books and my errands tote was already packed with extra diapers and baby food for daycare. So I grabbed an ugly dark lime green reusable grocery bag for the swim gear and away we went. But today, we were using them for their intended purpose - to save the planet by creating less waste.

I thought they would be a pain to use. I had gotten over the what-if-I-forget-them-at-home angst by assuring myself that when I forget them, I'll get the plastic bags that we still use, on ocassion, for especially stinky diapers, lining the frig shelf when there is a leaky cooked meat product, and lining waste baskets. I had dealt with the fact that they all come with obnoxious logos by getting ones where the logo was hard to read. I had braced myself for the inevitable "green" jokes at the grocery store. (Well, I thought I had. I still blabbered like an idiot when the lady in front of me, clearly a Republican, said, "like your bags." And when the cashier asked if she loaded them like I wanted them loaded...and followed up with raised eyebrows and a snide "using plastic?" when I wrapped the uncooked chicken breasts in plastic, it was all I could do to not lecture her about landfills and smog, but whatever.)

They were AWESOME INCREDIBLE THE-BEST-SYSTEM-SINCE-THE-PDA. {stops jumping up and down} What I mean to say (maturely) is that they were very nice. Very nice indeed.

We brought five bags. Once the boys were in the carts (we use two, so each boy can sit in the front of one), we opened the five bags in one of the carts. We used the other cart for the big stuff - canned drinks, diapers, and the air filter. But in the cart with the bags, we loaded the bags as we went through the store. Frozen foods went in one. Frig foods in another. There was one for pantry items and another for bathroom or kitchen counter items (like baby food). When we got to checkout, we opened the fifth, empty bag on the conveyor belt. Behind it, we unloaded the pantry food. Then we put that empty bag, opened nicely, on the belt. Behind it, we unloaded the frozen food. And so on.

The cashier didn't have any extra work, since the bags were ready and waiting.

The exciting part, though, is that she was FORCED to load the groceries the way we like it. She couldn't put cans on top of the bread because the bread was behind the next bag. Cold food wasn't placed with the crackers to dampen the cardboard box, since she couldn't physically get to the cold foods and the crackers at the same time. Also, though the bags were a smidge heavier than usual, there were fewer (only the five) and they fit over my shoulder by the straps if I need to carry a hefty baby on my hip. Plus, I felt secure that, for once, my milk wasn't going to fall out of the bag and splatter all over the floor.

Once I add a binder clip to the main bag with a Master grocery list (printed out so we can circle what we need) and any coupons for the week, it will be the perfect system.

Why didn't I spend the FIVE DOLLARS it cost years ago to do this? It is so much more convenient and organized. (And - bonus - Loki and Ander might just be able to live out their lives on Earth.)

Etcetera.

Hugs and Kisses

2009-06-28T15:04:00.002-05:00

I went to two birthday parties yesterday, At one, the recipient was an adorable one year old. His mommy thanked everyone for the gifts after she helped him open them. At the other, the nine year old birthday girl, who lives out of state and doesn't know us really well, was told by her parents to stop unwrapping after each gift, find the person who gave them the gift, and give them a hug and say thanks.

I'm no Ms. Manners, certainly. I believe manners are terribly important, mostly because they help keep peace and serenity. But I don't handwrite thank you notes after a child's birthday party. I guess I'm a manners moderate.

But I thought it was awkward and unnecessary to have a little girl hug every single guest at the party. And I thought it was crazy time-consuming to seek out the gift-givers, return to the area where the little kids were watching the opening of gifts, open the next gift, and walk away to search again. It dragged things on beyond the patience of kids.

I note with appreciation the parents' intent to teach politeness. I suspect my discomfort with the whole thing comes from my aversion to hugging people. Couldn't the nine year old just say thanks? Maybe, if you really want to show appreciation, she could go around AFTER unwrapping all the gifts and thank people personally?

I think it even goes beyond politeness at birthday parties. It's the whole expectation that kids have to hug and kiss everyone goodbye that bothers me. Grandma? Yes, she gets a hug and kiss. But if your toddler sees his great uncle twice a year or your preschooler sees his aunt once every month or two, why should he has to let them into his personal space and hug them. Couldn't he just politely wave to people he barely knows, like grown-ups do? Isn't it scary and weird to hug someone that, though mom and dad may know them well, is practically a stranger?

Etcetera.

Working Out

2009-06-28T09:38:00.002-05:00

I keep gaining weight. I'm nursing less (a LOT less...like pretty much totally weaned for daytime feeds...HaPPy DaNCe!!!) and have been really busy with Alan working overtime. I'm been working out some, riding my bike on weekend mornings and walking with the boys, but the weather has had nothing but record heat for a week or two, so I've been dormant.

I really need to buy some workout tapes. I can do those with the boys around and even if it's hot. I hesitate to buy them, because they are repetitive, can get expensive, and aren't as fun as being outdoors to work out. But I guess I need to face the very real obstacle in my path. It's too hot to work out outside and the boys are too much trouble to take all the way to a gym.

I'm trying to make better food choices, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Without working out, my body just doesn't lose weight. I know this. I don't even mind the workout, per se, as it makes me feel better. (I mind the extra dirty laundry and the time required to shower twice in a day and the heat, but not the workout itself.) I just don't have time to do everything.

But working out is something I need to do. My kids needs to see me doing it.

Etcetera.

Cheaper By The Dozen

2009-06-27T07:09:00.002-05:00

I unload the dishwasher bottom shelf first, then top shelf. First, I unload and put away anything that belongs in the area over the stove, like plates and bowls. Then, I unload the big stuff, like pots and pans, and put them in the cabinets under the island. Next I do silverware. Then knifes that go on the counter in the knife block. Finally, I move from the left to the right through things that belong in the left, middle, and right cabinet.

Why does that matter?

I would argue it matters because my system is quick and efficient. I deal with the huge assignment (shut up - you know you don't want to unload the dishwasher either because it is overwhelming...and, well, if it's not, come unload mine) in manageable chuncks. I don't have to think about it.

Other, more cynical sorts, would argue that my OCD makes me obsess in the middle of the night about how to improve my system and blogging about it is the only way to get the thoughts out of my brain (and into your reading diet...HA HA).

I never liked the cynical sort. They are right way too often.

By the way, I handle almost everything I tackle (writing a pleading, preparing for trial, cleaning off the island, packing for vacation) the same way - break it into small, spacially-related steps and do it a chunck at a time.

Two points to whoever understands the reference in the title.

Etcetera.

Firefly

2009-06-26T08:57:00.002-05:00

I don't like Westerns. I hate shot them up space shows (like Star Wars...icky).

So why is it that I've watched the entire Firefly series as many times as I've read Harry Potter?

I'm fascinated by the relationships. The Shepard who brings respect to the Companion (translation for nonfans: high class legal prostitute). The Doctor who is awkward. The Pilot who doesn't understand his value, but is secure enough as a man to marry the strongest Warrior Woman I've ever seen. The Captain who loves his crew like he wishes God loved him.

I wish I knew such complex, brave characters in real life. I think of a few of my friends and know they have the potential for such stories inside of them. But, mostly, people in real life are concerned with what shows to wear or what to watch on tv. In today's society, relationships are second to the daily grind. Relationships are based on things rather than character traits.

I think I'm going to move towards discovering and respecting character more than I have. I'm going to spend more time interacting with people and less on the daily grind. I'm going to find some Serenity.

Etcetera.

My Kids Need Their Daddy Back

2009-06-25T08:39:00.003-05:00

Alan worked until 4 a.m. last night. Then, he got up for work at 6 a.m. this morning. That's 2 hours of sleep.

In theory, I wasn't working and got to sleep a lot.

In theory only.

I stayed up until about 12:30 in the morning. I just can't sleep without my husband next to me. Then I feel sound asleep.

Tick tock. Tick tock. 25 minutes pass as I begin to enter REM sleep.

Screaming.

Loki is awake. I barely slept all night and then got up with Alan at 6 a.m., so I could see my husband for a few minutes. Tonight, when he arrives home, I will exhausted. But he'll need sleep more than me, so I'll stay up. And he wonders how I manage to not get enough work done during his overtime season.

I can't wait for a vacation. I need some solid sleep. I can't function this way. One parent with a job and two kids feels like having a newborn. Yawn.

Etcetera.

Tweaking the "Arrive Home" Routine

2009-06-23T18:07:00.003-05:00

Arrival at home used to be a real problem. Both boys were starving half the time. Both wanted attention. The stuff in my car (for example, dirty lunch containers, milk on ice, and wet towels) HAD to be brought into the house. It was chaos.

(Aside for credit - a quick thank you shoutout to my friend Misty for her ideas regarding workboxes.)

As part of my night time routine, I've been preparing stuff to LEAVE the house. But now, I also prep stuff for when we get home. I make three workboxes (more on those below) for Ander and leave them out on the kitchen table.

Being self-employed and picking up my kids up from my mom seems to suck up afternoon time. I've made it a goal, despite those challenges, to get home an hour before supper time. When I get home now, Ander has to 1) potty, 2) do any chores that are needed, like clear out toys from the living room, 3) do the three workboxes, and 4) eat supper, before he gets to either go on a walk with Mommy or play with Daddy. If Mommy is home alone and it's too hot to walk, THEN he gets a movie. All three are really fun for him, so it motivates him (and forces me to workout).

Meanwhile, Loki watches a Baby Einsteins DVD while playing with toys and then eats supper (while Ander eats, so we are all visiting together). I still eat after that, because it's too hard to eat all together and still feed Loki.

Mommy clears out the car, supervises the boys, and makes supper while Ander completes the workboxes. It works out MUCH better than before, when I tried to entertain the boys the whole time.

As an added bonus, the workbox idea is fabulous. I put out three activities. I try to do an easy, totally self-directed activity, then an activity that takes Mommy's help, and a third activity that is really exciting. Ander can see all three and wants to do them, so he works them pretty cooperatively.

Yesterday, we first colored a picture and added Color Wonder glitter paint. We worked on writing the letter A to show it was by Ander. Then, he had a fine motor skills activity where he put stickers on a picture and colored within the raised lines the stickers left over. Finally, we made play-dough cookies.

Today, we colored a page and worked on the letter A and spelling Andersen outloud as Mommy wrote it. (We color a lot in the first activity, both because that is when I'm most busy with Loki and because he needs the practice holding pens and crayons.) Then, we took a free hurricane map I got at Subway and used pennies to track hurricane routes (from the water to the boot-shaped Louisiana) and our evacuation route to Grandma's house. (We've been talking about hurricanes on our way to and from work everyday.) Finally, we took a puzzle with animals on it and wrote a story about animals. I would write a sentence, like, "The cow mooed at the..." and he would pick a puzzle piece, like the chicken, and finish the sentence. I would write chicken. He would put a period at the end of the sentence and then out the piece in the puzzle. The task works on listening, story-telling, learning the direction of written English words, ending sentences with periods, and holding a pencil correctly. Plus, he LOVED it. He thought it was great fun!

I haven't done a theme because I really have to vary the activities based on what is easily available and how much time I have to work with him. (For example, if Loki did not cooperate, Ander could have just done the animal puzzle without the story.) Plus, I only want to do about 20 to 30 minutes of activity. It's enough that he can focus as long as the activities are interesting.

This one-on-one interaction leaves me time to get supper ready, clean out the car, and make supper. But it really is one-on-one interaction, from Ander's prospective, because Mommy helps him get his colors, tells him stories about hurricanes (while warming leftover frozen pizza...that's fine parenting), and makes cool animal noises while he plays with his favorite puzzle. Loki thinks it's pretty funny, too, and loves that he gets to play with his toys WITHOUT Ander stealing them away and Mommy fussing at Ander for stealing them away.

I'm glad I did this.

Etcetera.

Sometimes, Your Spouse Sends You An E-mail...

2009-06-22T13:11:00.001-05:00

...that innocently asks, "How did swim lessons go?"

Sometimes, the reply is worthy of a blog entry:

"Would me bursting into tears be too dramatic?

He refused to get undressed. Timeout.
He refused to take off his shoes. Timeout.
He refused to let me put on sunscreen. Timeout.

He refused to get in the pool, but I told him Sue was in charge and left. My errands took the whole hour (because I had to go to the clerk's office for a client) and when I got back, he was swimming a bit (though mostly hanging on to Sue). When he saw me, he started crying and begging to get out. Sue, to her credit, said, "I know you want to get out, but class isn't over. So you can sit quietly on the step and have no fun for the next five minutes, or we can try swimming like a puppy dog a little bit more." After a bit, he swam.

Ugh.

Then we went to Subway (because I didn't have lunch made for today). In line, I told him to give people "personal space" since he was pushing into the man in front of him. When we were sitting down, eating our lunch, he suddenly pointed his finger at a woman in line, where we had been standing earlier, and announced, "She is in my personal space. Make her move." Sigh.

Loki seems to be feeling better. He's been mostly sleeping."

Etcetera.

The Submissive Wife

2009-06-19T08:37:00.003-05:00

Title got your attention? Ha.

I'm not the submissive sort. (Oh, you hadn't noticed?) I was reading tabloid junk about Jon and Kate Plus 8 (yes, that's the sort I am...sad, isn't it) and the author of the tabloid article joked that Kate would announce that she was becoming a submissive wife, as explained in a book by the title The Submissive Wife. I clicked the wikipedia link and got sucked in.

I'm also reading a book called Eve (copyright 2009, about the first woman), so the topic is popping up in my life lately. (Good book, so far. Worth reading.)

I never quite understand a relationship where the wife (or either spouse) is submissive. The freedom in not having to make decisions or have the primary responsibility? I get that. I MAYBE could understand that.

The part I can't understand, frankly, is wanting a submissive wife in your life. What Alan and I have, the sharing of responsibility, is so important. I couldn't possibly take it all on myself. Neither could he. We are better people because we act as a team. Sure, there are areas where I make most or all of the decisions. And there are areas where he does. But those divisions are because of our strengths, weaknesses, and interests - not our genders.

I know I have friends where the husband is clearly head of the household. I have friends in such relationships where it doesn't work (because husband is a power-hungry dictator) and friends where it does work (because husband respects his wife and treats her kindly). But I just can't imagine the draw to such a relationship. I can't envision why one would be a part of such a relationship. I can't imagine that it's a stronger relationship than equality.

Etcetera.

In Discipline News

2009-06-18T12:52:00.002-05:00

{SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION}

{Deep breathing}

There, all better.

We decided on the 6-kid home-based preschool near my office. If offers what we are looking for without a huge price tag and we can move up to something bigger next year. Don't you feel all updated and stuff? ;)

So on to discipline issues.

{SCREAMS AGAIN}

Ander was the sweetest little 2 year old. He would listen and do his very best to obey. He wanted people happy and would try to please them. And then came 3.

(On a related-but-only-through-stream-of-consciousness note, Loki was a pleasant, sweet, nonmobile 7 month old. 9 months tomorrow...and he now insists on hiding around the corner, setting off the carbon monoxide detector, and eating anything he can touch. Ander tells him, "No no, Loki. If you touch that again, Mommy will put you in jail." Lol. Jail is a pack 'n play and it's never used for more than a few seconds, unless I'm in the bathtub, but you make one joke in front of the 3 year old and bam - you are stuck with it.)

We have a Chart. On his chart, Ander can earn checks (20 = 1 Book Buck for spending at the bookstore) for getting dressed cooperatively or picking up his toys. It's the three year old version of a chore chart, since there's no consequence for not doing the stuff, but there will be when he is older.

We have Timeout. We strive to use the Supernanny method to the letter. Warning at eye level in a calm voice, 3 minute timeout, brief explanation, sorries, and hugs and kisses. We are so far from perfect, but pretty consistent. We use timeout for disobedient behavior, like hitting or refusing to follow directions. If the behavior involves an object, like hitting the wall with a bat, the object goes into timeout.

We have Chillout. Chillout is offered (okay, mandated or you get a timeout) when a 3year old shouts "NO!" at another person, runs like a mad person around the house, or has a temper tantrum. The preschooler is sent to his room to calm down. He can play with toys or whatever it takes, but can't come back until he is calm. It works pretty well in each separate instance, but happens far too often. Sometimes, it might happen five or six or more times in a single day. But it seems much more appropriate than the more confrontational timeout when I know Ander is just frustrated versus disobeying.

We have Steps. Special Agent Oso, on the Disney Channel, uses "three steps" to get his missions done. So Ander's missions have three steps, as I've described in a previous blog post.

Finally, I've recently introduced The Rules: Nice Hands, Walking Feet (when indoors or on a hard surface), Listening Ears, Watching Eyes (for making sure you can see the grownup in charge unless you are in your room or have permission to be out of sight), and Nice Mouth (for kind words and inside voice when inside). We review the rules daily and before big things, like swimming lessons. We make motions with our hands (like binocular eyes when discussing Watching Eyes) when reviewing the rules, because kids learn by doing and listening and watching and teaching, and not just by hearing.

But we are still having major discipline struggles. I know some of it is just normal 3 year old stuff. But he seems angry. And mean. And like he has no care that things might be taken away. Like timeout is whatever.

So I'm thinking of adding something. Maybe it's the school teacher in me, but I think you can never have too many tools.

I'm thinking of, first, making a big cutout of a person, with a red circle for a mouth, blue circles for ears, green circles for eyes, purple circles for hands, and yellow circles for feet. I'll post The Rules on the person so Ander can be reminded, visually. (He obviously can't read, but I can point to the yellow feet and ask him what that means. He'll learn walking feet fast enough, especially since I've already introduced it.)

Second, I'm considering making a consequence ladder, with a duplicate of Mr. Rules climbing up and down on it. (I'll make the ladder on a sturdy, large bookmark with a large paperclip holding Mr. Rules so it's easy to display but portable.) Mr. Rules will start each day in neutral territoty. For exceptional behavior (which I will warn about beforehand), Mr. Rules moves up and gets nonmonetary awards - hug from parent, parent tells Ander a story (one of his favorite things that we NEVER take the time to do), or, if he is really good, parent plays a game with him. (Pictures of people hugging, a book, and a game will indicate the rewards.) Going up will happen only when I give him an opportunity (such as when I tell him that we are going to the park and, if he doesn't go in timeout and leaves without arguing, he goes up) or when an outside grown-up compliments his behavior (such as Aunt saying he was very good at her house this afternoon).

Going down happens with each bad outside report or any timeout (since timeouts only happen after a warning, so it seems fair). Each step adds another consequence for the rest of the day. The first consequence would be unplugged (no radio, tv, or internet - yes, my 3 year old loves the internet, sigh) until he moves back up through earning it or the next day, whichever comes first), then untoyed (no toys except in his room, which would really cramp his playing style), then bed only (in his bed until he earns back privilege). He can move up from negative territory by 1) the day passing, 2) opportunity or outside adult compliments behavior, as explained above), or 3) doing a special, and decidedly unpleasant, chore of parents choosing (allowing him a chance to earn back priviledges, but not easily).

It sounds complex, but to him, it would be a really simple chart on display. The details are really for me to think it out, so I act predictably and consistently. I didn't think we would need this with a 3 year old, but things are crazy and I think we do. :(

Etcetera.

Give 'Em Something To Talk About

2009-06-16T18:08:00.002-05:00

The daycare dilemma gets more exciting today, as there are now two options.

Option One is a big daycare near my home that comes well recommended. It has extended day, a 4-year-old program (which we will need next year), and tons of fun, special activities. According to my cousin Stac, whose kids went there, it also has some turnover. Also, it means dropping Ander off in town and driving 30 minutes to work to drop Loki off. It's $115 per week, year-round.

Option Two is a mile (or less) from my office. It's an at-home preschool with 6 students. It's only $85 per week. It's only during the school year, but mom could definitely still watch Ander next summer, or we could transition to the bigger preschool then. It does not require that he be fully potty-trained, either. The hours are shorter (7:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.), but I have lots of backup babysitters in the town where I work, plus it's less than two minutes from my mom or my office. I could literally walk there and back to my office. The biggest disadvantage is that the lady teaching the class only has substitute teaching experience. But she is following a curriculum that is very popular in my parish and I've seen it work really well with other kids.

Ugh. I have to decide.

Alan needs to be home, but we don't have time to wait until he is home to decide. :(

Etcetera.

The Attitude is B A D

2009-06-14T12:46:00.000-05:00

Ugh! Ander yells "NO!" or talks about anytime we say something lately. Little Gym was better this week, because we worked on the rules, but it still wasn't good. He doesn't pay any attention and wanders off. At age 2, this kid had the attention span of the average adult. What happened? And he used to be sweet! Argh!!!

I've been trying three things, which are new things but seem to be helping so far. I am open to other suggestions, too.

First, I am copying the Disney channels Special Agent Oso and making three step instructions for things. So I'll say, "Special Agent Ander, your mission is to put on your shoes. Step one, set up your shoes. Step two, put your feet in. Step three, buckle them up." He seems to find this fun. My favorite is when he says he cannot do something, like zip up his backpack. "Step one, take a deep breath. Step two, try again. Step three, ask an adult to help." He was tickled at step two when it zipped and shouted that he didn't need an adult to help.

Second, we are sending him away to calm down and come out nice. It's not a timeout (like he would get for refusal to listen to instructions or hitting). It's just, "you are shouting at mommy. Go into your room and calm down. Once you are calm, come back and tell mommy nicely." It's working somewhat. Yesterday, he even did it himself when he realized he was getting worked up. But he is spending, well, lots of time in his room. :(

Third, he now has three rules everywhere we go. Ears, eyes, and mouth. They vary slightly, depending on where we are going, but we review them before each situation. We make listening ears, watching eyes, and a nice mouth with our hands as we review them, to help him remember the three rules. For example, before a presentation at the library, we reviewed, "Listen to the grownups, use watching eyes to see mommy so you can stay nearby, and a nice mouth at a library means inside voice." We especially practiced watching eyes, since staying in sight of me at the library was important with so many other kids there. (Not that I would lose him if he ran away. The library has a train. That IS where he would be. :)) At Little Gym, we still used ears, eyes, and mouth, but the rules were slightly different. "Use listening ears to listen to the teacher, watching eyes to see where the other kids are and stay with them, and nice mouth to ask to potty if you need to." I find the physical act of putting his hand cupped around each body part helps him remember, plus he can remember three things (just barely...sigh).

Bonus points for anyone who can suggest a way to get Loki to quite setting off the carbon monoxide detection, which cannot be moved out of reach because of the layout of my house. ;)

Etcetera.

Preschool

2009-06-09T09:48:00.002-05:00

We are considering a preschool for Ander. I've already mentioned cost, but I need to think it out even more.

For a 8:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. day, it costs $90 a week. For extended care, it's $115 per week. That might not sound like a whole lot, but keep in mind that we pay nothing right now. To fit this into our budget, we would add the cost of a couple of car notes. That sure seems like a lot to me.

I'm very tempted to do the $90 per week, but then I cannot head get to the office until 9, would have to leave by 2:30 p.m., and would have to take Ander with me to my mom's whenever I have court, even if something exciting is going on at school.

Another consideration is that I will now have to do two dropoffs and pickups each day. Anyone with kids knows that transitions are a very difficult part of the day. Four a day, plus packing the stuff...it's overwhelming. If we do extended day, I'd probably ask Alan to do drop off on Mondays and Tuesdays (since those tend to be my busiest days at work), plus whenever I have court in the morning on another day of the week and NOT on the Mondays when I have afternoon court. On those days, Ander would be there from 7 a.m. until about 3:30 p.m. That sounds like a long day, but I just can't cut anything more from my workday and still keep any flexibility for taking time off for important things. On Wednesdays,Thursdays, and Fridays I would do dropoff (around 8 a.m.) and pickup (between 3 and 4 p.m.). I am sorely tempted to have Alan drop-off everyday, but that seems like such a long day for Ander.

Another issue is that, while I am certain Ander is ready for some level of preschool, I'm not sure he is ready for five days a week yet. I wish I could find a nearby two day a week program, but without the extended care, it's probably not feasible. The Mother's Day Out programs seem to be 8-12 or 9-2. That leaves me no time to actually work!

Finally, he must be completely potty trained.

Yah, right. Like that is going to happen.

Etcetera.

So Tired

2009-06-08T07:11:00.002-05:00

Mommies really should get a vacation. Between working out and Loki screaming, I am beat. I have a full plate of paperwork today, but I can barely keep my eyes open. Surely, I'll get in a nap at some point. Right? Hopefully?

Loki is officially (and quickly) crawling now. You would think he would be happier. Instead, he seems frustrated at all the new things he is not allowed to have.

Ander is moody and simply ignores us lately.

It's going to be a long week.

Etcetera.

Sleeping Through the Night

2009-06-02T09:22:00.002-05:00

I'm not a fan of letting a baby cry it out. Honestly, I don't know if I could let Loki cry until he falls asleep. I have no problem with a bit of fussing, as I believe having to wait a minute teaches a child to deal and have patience, but full on crying - we don't do it. (Well, we do, with Ander. But Ander is old enough to understand that we love him but won't give in to his fits.)

That said, I HAVE to do something. Loki is keeping me up all night. He screams and cries, at random, even when we are co-sleeping. Some nights, he nurses a lot. Others, he refuses to nurse at all.

I am so sleepy, even with Alan doing the crib runs (getting him from the crib when Loki screams EXACTLY FIFTEEN MINUTES AFTER I ENTER REM SLEEP EVERY SINGLE NIGHT...sigh...and putting him in our bed), that I'm scared I'm going to crash my car on the commute. I literally cannot keep my eyes open. It is bad.

I don't think I can fit in a daytime nap. Take today's schedule, for example. Wake at 6:45 to nurse Loki. Bring Ander potty. Get both kids and myself ready and leave the house to arrive at mom's at 8:30 a.m. Then, I eat breakfast, check work e-mail, return one client phone call, and it's 9:30 a.m. Get Ander ready for playdate at the library at 10 a.m. Return at 12:30 to my mom's, eat lunch, and I only have about two hours left to work before childcare is done. If I nap, that takes up the work time. Sigh.

With Ander, we did a more gentle sleep training, where we went in the room and patted his back, and stayed nearby when he was awake, but didn't talk to him. But I think Ander was older.

I've heard people say that having a child means lack of sleep and parents choose it, so they should just deal. Those people are judgmental prats. (There, I said it. Ha!) Most important in this equation is that I'm falling asleep while driving my children, so something has to change.

But I don't think Alan or I can handle Loki crying. It's not even a philosophical objection. It's a physiological one.

Etcetera.

13 Years

2009-06-01T11:56:00.003-05:00

My husband and I have been married for 13 years, as of yesterday. You'd think 13 years would be long enough to get into a household maintenance groove. You'd be wrong?

I have no idea which of us, for example, is in charge of calling the termite guy. But for three years, we've put off termite treatment. I'm scared to call now, because what if we have termites? It would be our own fault. In theory, I should call. I am the one who will likely stay home to meet the termite guy, so my schedule matters. But Alan pays the bills and would probably want to negotiate the costs and decide when to pay the bill.

When we work together to dress the kids, it's a disaster. I get clothes out and get Loki dressed. Three minutes later, Loki is wearing something else? Why? Oh, right, hubby didn't know I had already changed Loki.

Prepping the night before works miracles for me in the mornings. When Alan takes the kids to their baths, I put everything together for the next day. But with two kids, Alan needs help. It sucks because I pay in the mornign, but two slippery kids really do require two adults at some point.

Ugh. Think after 26 years it will all be easier?

Etcetera.

A Moment of Silence

2009-05-28T19:08:00.003-05:00

No, I meam actual, real live silence. It's not just a dream, I promise! It's 7 p.m., husband is not home yet, but the kids are potty'ed, changed, and feed. I've had a somewhat healthy supper of pasta salad with vinegar, lemon juice, garden fresh tomatoes and cucumbers, and a bit of hard cheese, plus half my usual serving of chili cheese toast. Alan is leaving work (before 9 p.m....yippee!). Harry Potter is on the tv and Ander and I are watching it together while Loki, whose been a cranky bear, sleeps.

Okay, I broke my promise. TV is not silence. But it's close. My island in my kitchen is cleaned off. It's a little thing, but it keeps me so much more organized. The reds/purples are in the dryer. The dishes aren't done, due to the sleeping baby, but there aren't many since tonight's dinner was leftovers. The trash is pulled in from the curb and my car trash bag is put out, because Ander - yes, my barely three year old - wanting to help with chores to earn a check. Oh, and he cleaned the living room (including putting his and Loki's toys where they belong, stacking the shoes near the fireplace, and putting the blankets in the storage container and requiring NO ASSISTANCE or even guidance :))for another check mark. Check marks are very powerful.

Wait, there's more!

Stac is bringing Brendan tomorrow to cut the grass and then watch the baby while I get some work done. And EBeth called and is going to babysit for our anniversary dinner, which is always exciting for Ander because he loves to play with JD.

I feel sort of peaceful.

Something terrible is probably about to happen, right?

Etcetera.

Seriously, I Mean It

2009-05-24T15:34:00.002-05:00

I'm a big fan of parenting. By that, I mean I make the rules and decisions and Ander just has to follow-through. It actually drives me crazy when someone does or doesn't do something based on what their child wants.

That said, I am all about Ander and Loki having happy childhoods and lots of fun. So while I won't, say, let Ander play outside Highland Coffees in the rain just because he wants to, I will let him cuddle on my lap in the coffee shop and read the comics to him, if he asked.

I suspect, though, and perhaps it's just paranoia, that others think I'm way too strict. The whole time, I'm thinking they are way too lenient, so who am I to judge their judging?

Etcetera.

Why My Blog Is Called Giftie...

2009-05-22T10:53:00.003-05:00

I went to Louisiana School for Math, Science, and the Arts (LSMSA) in high school. It is a residential high school and we, the students, nicknamed ourselves "gifties." (You didn't actually have to be gifted to get into this public high school. It was for high achieving students throughout Louisiana.)

When I define myself, it's as a LSMSA alum. Hence, the "Giftie." Everything else is the "Etcetera."

Clearly, my friend Stacy feels much the same:

The Best School in the History of Ever

Her post was too touching to keep to myself.

Etcetera.

I Love Eating Out

2009-05-22T09:43:00.002-05:00

There is something about someone else cooking for you. I love it. I guess I love my husband more, seeing as I married a man who can't cook.

Alan has tried to cook. And while his food (grilled cheese or omelets, mostly) is certainly welcome on a lazy day, it is nothing special. He can't grill without under or overcooking the food, forgets to stir food on the stove, and thinks that more seasoning is ALWAYS better, even when it's clearly not. *cough*fennel seeds*cough*

I cook reasonably well, but I don't enjoy cooking.

I enjoy eating.

So we eat out. A lot. My children are generally very well-behaved at restaurants. They've been taken to eating places from a young age and know the rules. Even Loki can sit quietly through a meal, smiling at the other diners. I'm not a fast food person, so this often meals actual sit down restaurants. It's almost embarrassing how well-behaved they are in restaurants, since they are too young to act that well in public. (And let's just say that they have figured out that church is NOT a restaurant, so the misbehave accordingly.)

I see other parents struggle. Their kids scream, throw food, and spill water. That's the norm, right? I think my kids sense that mommy takes food VERY SERIOUSLY and she's not messing around. :)

Etcetera.

Don't Do It...

2009-05-21T23:55:00.001-05:00

...no matter how hungry you are, don't shove down chili cheese toast in a hurry because your baby is screaming for milk.

DO...NOT...DO...IT.

Seriously.

Ugh. It's almost midnight and I am still paying. Tomorrow is going to suck.

How does this weaning thing work?

Etcetera.

Mornings Suck

2009-05-21T13:43:00.002-05:00

How difficult would it be, really, to get organized in the mornings? If I just checked my calendar the night before, loaded my car as much as possible (work bag and any extra stuff I need to bring, like workout clothes or swimsuits), put everything else in my "lauchpad" area with a sticky note of stuff to get from the frig, and put out clothes for the morning, mornings would go much smoother.

Hmm, what am I forgetting?

Oh, yes. Silly me! What about a nanny for Ander and Loki, since I am clearly unqualified to get them dressed.

This morning, Ander had no less than five timeouts before we left for work. He refused to get dressed. He refused to potty. He refused to brush his teeth, though he begged to floss. {rolls eyes} No, young man, flossing is for kids who listen to their mommies! {pats self on the back for that brilliant, unproductive reasoning}

We have a chart of the things we do in the morning - potty, brush teeth, brush hair, and get dressed - but he assured me he didn't want checks and would get them tomorrow instead. (He takes the procrastination problem from his daddy.) At least it was a day at work when I had no time constraints, but when I have court, this cannot happen.

He is in for a shock tomorrow. No tv before 7 a.m. He can play in his room, or, if the sun is up, cuddle in my bed. But no tv. And I won't let it go on until he brushes hair and teeth and gets dressed. Plus, if he needs to go to timeout to decide to get dressed, no tv at all (at least until after lunch). It will be fabulouso, let me assure you.

Loki was also in a fine mood, screaming about his sore gums, pooping AFTER I change his diaper and clothes, and puking all over me as we were about to get into the car.

As you might imagine, I am bad company today. Good thing I am working from a coffee shop - alone. (Good thing for the people who would otherwise be around me, I mean. Obviously.)

Etcetera.

Loki Is Communicating

2009-05-20T13:04:00.002-05:00

Loki is talking. He says "da da" and looks around for Alan. (The word is old news, but the looking around and smiling when he sees Alan is new.) He looks for Ander when we say his name. He will say "ma ma ma" but only if he has a paci in his mouth. He must need to feel it to form an m sound.

He also follows simple commands, like shaking his head no or lifting his bum in the air when I say "up."

He has a mean pincher grasp and is two seconds from real commando crawling.

Unfortunately, he's also screaming when someone (meaning mommy) leaves the room. Or doesn't pick him up. Or, God forbid, deems to put food by his mouth.

Is it wrong to feed his Rice Chex because they are cheaper than Puffs? {rolls eyes at self}

I'm not ready for two kids talking back.

Etcetera.

Losing Weight While Breastfeeding

2009-05-19T15:09:00.002-05:00

Everyone promised that breastfeeding would just melt the baby weight away.

LYING LIARS.

8 months into exclusively breastfeeding, I am probably at my highest weight, ever. A combination of illnesses and injuries has derailed my efforts to work out. Loki refuses solid foods, so I'm starving all the time. My body feels like it is starving, yet I eat constantly.

I have friends who use Weight Watchers, but I don't have the time or money for meetings. So I'm going to do what has worked for me in the past. I'm going to jog/walk and count calories. I'm fat enough that I can have 2,200 calories a day (if I'm still nursing and work out 30 minutes 6 days a week) and still get skinnier. So that's the goal.

I am so picky about calorie counting, though. It kills me to estimate. I hate when a restaurant does not provide calorie counts. Ugh! If I could just get over that. And if I could just remove my butt from the sofa...

Etcetera.

Need to Socialize

2009-05-19T14:53:00.003-05:00

The last few weekends have been a bust. I'd like to report that I ate leisurely dinners with friends, played at the park, or played Scrabble until 3 in the morning. Instead, I had a horrible Mother's Day and then was very sick this weekend. I feel like if I don't do something about my lack of a social life, I'm going to get overwhelmed and exhausted. Heck, the stress is probably why I keep getting sick.

This weekend, I am doing something about it. I have a social event to attend Saturday night. I have a bar-be-que to go to on Memorial Day. I am going to get out of the house for some purpose other than grocery shopping.

Two kids are a lot of work.

Etcetera.

How I Want Things To Go

2009-05-16T08:47:00.002-05:00

It's May 16th. It does not escape my attention that I haven't blogged in over two weeks. I adore blogging. I feel more connected, less stressed, and somewhat (I might as well admit it, since my loyal readers have already guessed) powerful when I write these humble little entries.

So why two weeks?

Let's see: my car broke (once at home and once on the side of the road), my borrowed replacement car had a blowout, my lawnmower crapped out, my husband worked until after dark every single weekday for the past two weeks, I had catch-up to do from the week and a half off when Loki went to the hospital, I suffered my own ER trip/minor illness, work was crazy busy, and Ander is potty training (last on the list, but perhaps most time consuming). Oh, and Mother's Day sucked.

I could keep going, but gawh!

I want thing to go smoothly. I want to make a grocery list today, complete with recipes for two new foods and a standard food. (My current craving is pasta, so I'm thinking a tomato and pasta salad as one new food and some sort of creamy pasta and chicken dish as my other. I'd make roast beef as my standard food, since I'm daydreaming and there's no real effort involved in daydreams.)

I want to print coupons to go with said list, so I spend less.

I want the list typed up and saved in my pda, so I don't have to retype it next week.

I want the chores started today, but I only want to spend a brief time doing chores before I go forth and enjoy the Saturday.

I want everything in my house to stay where it is supposed to be.

I want poopy, in the potty. (A girl can dream.)

I want Loki to wean himself, starting a month ago, one bottle at a time. I want him done just in time to have exactly enough frozen milk to give him until the day he turns one year old, but early enough to never have to nurse him on a hot day in July.

I want to take my quizzes everyday and never forget. (Krumply knows what I'm talking about.)

Sigh.

I want to sigh less than a cranky, 70-year-old woman.

I want to workout and eat healthy and drink water and dress nice but comfy...

Etcetera.

Mom's Night Out

2009-05-01T11:36:00.002-05:00

Before I had kids, I thought I'd never want a night away from them, unless it was with just my husband.

Well, I still want a night with just my husband.

But a night with other moms is an experience you can't pay for. And when the moms have kids of similiar ages and are two of your favorite friends, it recharges you like nothing else.

Honestly, the food at the Japanese place we went to was just okay. But the company was wonderful. I desperately needed a break and now I feel recharged. I missed my kids - just enough to really appreciate them. :)

Etcetera.

Feels Like Law School

2009-04-30T10:44:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting in a coffee shop, with a legal pad doubling as a mouse pad. I've got a hot medium roast with two creams and five Splendas. My glasses are on, but since I only need them for distances, they are propped atop my forehead, holding my hair out of my eyes. I have a stack of work beside me and the plan is to get through it all.

It's almost dead week at most colleges, so people all around me are working. One 25ish lady has little forms spread out around her. I overheard enough of a conversation to assume she is almost done student-teaching and is finishing a project related to that. Another lady, closer to thirty, is writing a paper. It looks, well, PAINFUL. Glad I'm not her. The other person is just straight up studying for a test. Reading notes, highlighting, and writing mneumonics down every now and then.

Other people in the coffee shop include a 30-40ish male reading the paper, wearing jeans and a t-shirt bought in Tahiti. He doesn't look rich, so I wonder how he finds time to sit around and read the paper.

A businessman is one the phone, sipping coffee, talking to his office, and clearly waiting to meet with someone.

Other people pop in every three or four minutes, grab coffee, and run back to the nearby offices.

I feel like it was when I used to study in law school, except that Ander and Loki are at my mom's, I can't skip lunch because I'm a nursing mom (though I'll settle for a bagel with cream cheese and honey), and I have to leave on time to pick up the kids.

I wonder if these other people have kids. And, if so, what are their kids up to right now.

Etcetera.

I Can Only Do So Much

2009-04-29T10:07:00.003-05:00

I have a ton of work to do, after taking a whole week and a day(and now yesterday afternoon)off to take care of Loki. But I feel like I have the flu. I don't have fever, so no swine flu here, but my poor baby if he felt this way last week. Alan's working crazy and unpredictable overtime, meaning I am stuck trying to get the basics done.

I never, or rarely, hear anyone else complaining about being this far behind. Hello? Aren't the rest of you overwhelmed, too?

More coffee.

Etcetera.

Interesting Breastfeeding/Family Leave Discussion

2009-04-27T13:09:00.002-05:00

While sitting home with Loki a couple of days ago, I happened to turn on the public broadcasting network. There was a fascinating discussion of breastfeeding and it's affect on income. Apparently, a study recently came out that said, over a woman's lifetime, she makes less if she breastfeeds. As a working and nursing mom, I'm not shocked.

Sure, maybe in the end I'll spend less on medical bills (doesn't feel like it this week, though, with our doctor and hospital visits :/) and less sick time off. But, right now, breastfeeding cuts into my pay, probably more than formula would cost. I took longer off of work to nurse Loki. I go in later, take a longer lunch, and leave earlier, all to nurse my baby.

I'm okay with all of that. My choice to breastfeed was not based on money, but what was best for my family. I do think some moms HAVE to work and end up using formula because of it, but I could afford a little bit of a flexible schedule, at lower pay, to breastfeed, so that wasn't a real factor for my family. (I'm not okay with my infections, overproduction, lack of breaks, lack of sleep...but that's a different story. :)-)

Back to the discussion, though. There were liberal women there discussing how paid family leave would be fair, so moms could breastfeed. They pointed out that giving mandatory breaks for pumping and supplying private areas would go a long way to helping moms breastfeed. I agree.

And then the more conservative women spoke up. And they talked about how a family works together to pay the bills. Sometimes, that means mom takes a year off and a cut in pay (over time) to nurse each baby. I agree.

I found myself wanting paid leaves for moms. (As a small business owner, this would be tough for me to provide. But if all small business owners had to do it, prices would go up to cover it, and it's something I could budget for.) But I also find myself thinking that families do need to rearrange things, not necessarily to breastfeed, but to give the baby extra attention in the first year. Maybe part of that is breastfeeding. Maybe it's not. But babies take a lot of work in year one and families need to be available for it.

I rarely agree with a conservative viewpoint. And, clearly, I was MORE in agreement with the liberal speakers. But I understood the conservative viewpoint, too, which was sort of disconcerting for me.

Etcetera.

Chore Chart

2009-04-26T11:17:00.000-05:00

The chore chart we made for Ander is working great. It has 8 or 9 things on it each day. They are sort of divided into morning (brush teeth, brush hair, get dressed without a fight), daytime/afternoon (help with household chore on Sat & Sun, clean room on Sun, Wed, & Fri, pick up toys left in the living room on days when he doesn't clean room), goals (potty dry all day and poopy in the potty), and nighttime (brush teeth and floss). Although someday it will have consequences attached to it, right now it's just a motivational tool. He loves putting checks when he does the stuff on the chart. If we are out of the house, obviously he won't get all the checks. But so far, he is doing great getting some every single day, like brushing his teeth. On an average day, he gets 5 or 6 checks.

I'd like to incorporate a bigger reward. We are thinking about giving him "book bucks" for each check. Right now, I'm thinking he gets a nickel credit for each check mark. At 5 check marks a day, that's about a quarter a day or a dollar and a half a week. In three weeks, he could pick out an inexpensive book (and, more importantly, make a trip to the bookstore to play with the trains ). More often, and we won't have time to take him to the bookstore. Plus, it wouldn't be as big a treat. But I'm nervous that it's not often enough. He gets excited by the checks, though, and I figure he will probably be excited by the "book bucks," so the trip is just extra, right? Also, I don't want to pay him for chores (because they are just expected), so this way, he gets books instead. Once he gets an allowance, it will be tied to chores, as in if you don't do them, you don't go anywhere and don't get your allowance until they are done, but not a dollar per chore or anything like that. So, in a way, I suspect I might be setting a bad precedent. That said, i really am trying to motivate him and I think books are a great reward and something we like to get once a month or so anyway.

I probably ought to do a chore chart for me and Alan. That would motivate him! But what happens if we don't get our chores done?

Etcetera.

Little Things

2009-04-25T10:39:00.002-05:00

It seems like the little things (and the big things, like hospital stays, when you really think about it) are always slowing me down.

Take this morning as an example.

I slept in until 8:30ish (except for waking twice to nurse the baby). Sounds lovely, right? Then I reflect on the fact that I couldn't sleep last night, despite exhaustion, because Loki was coughing and fussy and Alan was so tired and I was nervous and watching Loki until almost 1 a.m., despite not sleeping all of Monday and Tuesday night because of the hospital and all of Wednesday and Thursday night because of the sick baby.

Ander joined us in bed and cuddled. Then we woke for the day. I got dressed and ready to leave to work at a coffee shop. But Alan wants to that a bath and cut his hair before I go. If that happens, I won't have just nursed Loki (which means having to pump). The boys will be ready for a nap when Alan gets home. And I won't get home early enough to make a chili. But Alan really needs a haircut. It sucks all around.

I leave for said coffee shop. I stop to get desperately needed gas. The pumps say pay inside. I go toward inside. The door stops me. It's locked. The gas station is out of power (despite lights being on) and is closed. Of course, it's on the wrong side of the interstate.

Despite leaving the house at 9 a.m., I arrive at the coffee shop (the closest one to my house with tables to work at is at Perkins and Bluebonnet...many, many minutes away) at 10 a.m. Blah!

It's traffic jams and spilled drinks and potty incidents and closed gas stations and a thousand other little, unpredictable things that slow me down.

It suckith mightily.

Etcetera.

Scariest Moment EVER

2009-04-21T08:25:00.003-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, Loki was sleeping peacefully after a fitful day. I was sitting next to him, chatting on the phone with a friend. Suddenly, he went pale and limp. He wasn't breathing.

You cannot imagine the level at which I freaked out.

We are in the hospital today and still on lots of oxygen, but Loki really does seem fine. He is maintaining his oxygen at 100% (yippee!!!), nursing fine, and flirting with the nurses. They will start to wean him from oxygen today (in fact, they just turned it down) and then, once he goes 12 to 24 hours with no supplemental oxygen, he can go home.

At this point, they think he has a virus (not RSV, though). He has a bit of cloudy spots on his lungs, probably a bit of pneumonia. In addition, they did test for whooping cough and we won't have results for 72 hours from the test (which means no kiddo visitors). Apparently, despite vaccines, Louisiana has seen a big increase in whooping cough.

It's such a relief that Loki is pulling on all his tubes and laughing and playing (and fussing at us for putting him in his cage). He seems fine.

Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers.

Etcetera.

Loki Goes To The Doctor

2009-04-20T15:48:00.002-05:00

Loki's been having a little cough since Friday, but has been fine and happy. Honestly, I thought it was almost gone.

Last night, I heard him cough quite a bit. This morning, when I went to nurse him, I noticed he was gasping every now and then. He was struggling to get air. Then, after he nursed, he vomited it all. That happened again (and everytime since), so at 8 a.m., I called the doctor.

He has a spot on his lungs (but no fluid, so not diagnosed with pneumonia, yet) and a low oxygen level (around 94) that was fixed with a breathing treatment. The doctor will recheck on Wednesday to make sure he doesn't have to go to the hospital. Of course, if it gets worse and better better, we go in before then.

Since we left the doctor, he is coughing and still struggling to breath, but happier now that we are home. I've never seen any of my kids this sick. It was/is really scary.

He can't eat without vomiting. The peditrician said to try to nurse inside of weaning to bottles this week (even though that will up production again - sigh) so he can get small amounts and not overeat and vomit. Still, he eats for only a couple of minutes and then upchucks. At least we still have wet (barely) diapers.

Also, no daycare allowed this week. Fabulous, really. I have a ton of work, have to nurse every two to three hours, give breathing treatments every four to six hours, watch a three year old, and work from home. Gre-ate. But it's better than the hospital.

Etcetera.

Saturday Afternoons Suck

2009-04-18T16:30:00.002-05:00

Alan and the boys can sleep for up to four hours on a lazy Saturday afternoon. They crashed around 2 p.m. and sleep until almost 6 p.m. I don't mind a quick nap, but then I am up.

I can't really clean up, because the noise will wake the baby. And with Alan sleeping, I'd then be watching a cranky baby.

I can't watch tv, because Saturday tv sucks.

I get bored and lonely. Sometimes we go out on Saturday night, but that's pretty rare. Sometimes I sleep, but I'm not by nature a napper, so that doesn't last long. And then they are wide awake, and I'm cranky from my half-nap sleep. Plus, Alan wants to do all the chores on Sunday, because he sleeps Saturday away.

That makes Sunday suck, too.

So much for the weekend.

Etcetera.

To Wean Or Not To Wean

2009-04-16T10:53:00.002-05:00

Loki will be 7 months old on the 19th. He has two teeth, and more certainly on the way, but no biting so far. He is communciating a little. He does the milk sign sporadically. He shakes his head "no" when you tell him "no no." He definitely knows how to get what he wants.

I was planning to be WAY DONE nursing by now. I don't enjoy it. I have a freezer full of milk. If I had kept pumping like I was, and weaned today, I'd have enough milk to last through one year old.

However...

I was a slacker about pumping for the last month and a half. I literally only pump if I miss three bottles in a day, which only happens if Loki spends the night away. Which happened, oh, maybe once. So now I have plenty of milk to supplement two bottles a day until one year, but that's about it.

I have weaned out about two feedings a day on weekdays. He gets frozen milk in a bottle. On the weekends, I mostly nurse the whole time. My dilemma is whether to wean another feeding. (I have to wean slowly, because I get infections very easily.) If I do, I won't have enough milk to last until one year. And if I pump, there's no point in weaning (for my body). But if I don't, how do I wean slowly without going past a year old, which I am really not wanting to do? Honestly, I am wishing I was already weaned. I planned to be, but my body is struggling so much and not cooperating. I still have overproduction, even just nursing morning, after work, and evening.

Do I pump? Do I not?

Ugh. This is not supposed to be so complicated.

Etcetera.

You'd Think I Could Leave The Stinkin' House...

2009-04-15T18:07:00.002-05:00

...without forgeting essential items. I seriously need a checklist. Purse. Cell. Keys. (Okay, I usually remember keys. Well, when I drive, I remember keys. Sigh.) Diaper bag. Actual diapers, wipes, baby food, change of clothes - sometimes. Pump and/or defrosted milk. Ice packs for milk. My lunch. My work bag.

I have a set place for everything. But I forget things that are in the frig, or the freezer, or not put to go out. Sigh. One day, I'll forget the kids. It will be very embarrassing.

I'm only 34. Memory lost? Dementia? Exhaustion?

Hmmm.

Stay tuned for a blog about gentle weaning, coming soon. (Brien, that warning was for you.)

Etcetera.

If My Child Was Gay...

2009-04-04T08:18:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking about a scenario where one of my boys grows up to discover he is gay. I've been thinking about it for a couple of reasons. One is that a relative made a racist remark about my son potentially marrying a minority, and my natural comeback was that Ander can marry who he wants to marry, regardless of race or gender. Admittedly, I was aiming for a bit of shock factor to make my relative think. The other reason is that Iowa, not exactly a liberal area, just had a court allow gay marriage.

I don't suspect most parents hope their child is gay. I imagine that if I had to deal with the struggles most committed gay couples have to deal with, I would not wish those struggles on my own child, even if I were gay myself. The closest (although not perfect) analogy I can think of is what it must have been like having daughters in the late 70s and 80s - daughters of my generation. Women were making strides towards equality, but boys had an easier road than girls to high paying employment and powerful jobs. It's not that parents didn't want daughters, but they must have worried for their daugthers. That's sort of how I feel about if one of my sons is gay. I would worry for him, but strive to give him the tools and the strength to deal with the challenges society creates.

That said, if one of my boys "comes out of the closet" (and I hope it would not be such a big deal as that, really, because my boys will know that they will have parental support and guidance), I want him to be able to have a family and a committed relationship. I want him to have the joys - and, maybe even more importantly, the RESPONSIBILITIES - of raising children, nuturing a lifelong adult relationship, and participating in the community.

If my child turns out to be gay, I want him to be able to assume NOT ONLY the fun parts of marriage - sex, companionship, shared resources - but the responsibilties as well, including financial commitments, living his promises, and being there for someone other than himself.

Why would society not want that? For me, gay marriage isn't about a privilege. It's not about the Constitution (although there is a strong legal argument for it being a Constitutional right). For me, gay marriage, like all marriage, is about responsibility. Committed relationships are good for families, good for societies, and good for individuals. I'm going to support the opportunity for adult individuals to make that commitment, because I never know if my own kids will need the gift of marriage available to them.

Etcetera.

Adam and Eve

2009-03-30T16:51:00.002-06:00

For Lent, we are talking to Ander about God everyday. The other day, we talked about Adam and Eve. We tried to explain the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Then we gave up, and just explained it was the "to not to" Tree. You know, because Mater says, "to not to." Sigh.

Ander listened patiently.

Then he exclaimed. "I know Eve! She's on Wall-E."

Hmmmm.

Loki ate half a jar of carrots and half a jar of green beans today. After 4 weeks of trying, at almost 7 months of age, he deemed to swallow a couple of bites, before restarting his game of clap, spit, and smile.

Progress. Baby steps. Appreciating the little things.

Hmmmm.

Etcetera.

To Not To

2009-03-25T17:47:00.001-06:00

"Mommy, I hurt myself when I fly."

"Then, Ander, what did you learn about flying in the house?"

Silence.

Mommy sighs and answers her own question.

"To not to."

Thank you, Mater, for supplying the words when I am too tired to do so myself.

Etcetera.

Why Do Certain Things Never Get Done

2009-03-18T08:18:00.002-06:00

I know the dishes have to get done. And I am really good about unloading the plates and the silver (stainless stain...but you know what I meant) while warming supper in the microwave. But I never reload the dishwasher and turn it on. I clean the inside of the tub. But I rarely wipe down the part where the soap and shampoo sits. I clean the toys from the living room, but leave the baby nail clippers sitting on the counter.

Alan is worse than me. He unloads the groceries, but leaves anything that doesn't go in the frig on random counters. He puts pacifiers on top of the tv (not the usual spot) in hopes he will use the paci later. (He won't, because when Loki is screaming for the paci, Alan won't think to look on the tv.)

Things in our house have a home. And if we just put things there, or talked about it and created a home for new stuff, we'd have a much neater, easier-to-live-in home.

So what's stopping us?

Etcetera.

Working Out With Kids

2009-03-17T18:09:00.002-06:00

I'm really trying to train for next year's March for the Cure 5K. Yes, a 5K is only 3.2ish miles. But that's IN A ROW. Timed. So girl-who-has-never-ran-over-a-mile-in-a-row has to train.

But I have a 3-year-old and a baby.

So I run when Daddy is home to watch them. I run with them in the double stroller. I go to Jazzercise when the weather is bad or my muscles are too tired to run and for some strength training. I stretch at home, on the floor with the kids. I do push-ups and sit-ups (attempt, not do...attempt is a far more accurate word :/...yikes) with Ander. I do Loki lifts. (Twenty-plus pounds of solid lard, people. TWENTY. At 6 months!)

It's hard to work out and have kids.

I miss Strollerfit classes, but know I couldn't have done them with these two kids.

So I run.

If anyone else runs really, really, really slow and wants to do a mile and a half with me, let me know.

Etcetera.

Homeschool - One Hour In

2009-03-13T08:58:00.002-06:00

I've decided that on days Ander and I stay home (most weeks, that's a Friday, and some weeks, it's two or three days, if there is a holiday or something), we will homeschool during the day. I have an education degree, after all, and Ander turned three this month. Unfortunately, all the three-year-old preschools that are near my work (essential criteria) don't start for his age until August, plus they don't have openings. So I figure we'll do a structured (or, really, as structured as preschool gets) day once a week until Pre-K. We also plan to put Ander in an activity this summer and I am looking into storyhour at the library.

I have some goals.

I have a letter of the day that we will work on. (It will probably be A for several weeks, since his name starts with A and it's an important vowel.) We will add saying the ABCs soon, but he pretty much can do that.

I will introduce writing his name at the top of every page of "homework." I mostly write it, though we trace the letter A together. The goal is for him to get familiar with the concept that we write our names on things we do. If he learns some letters or his whole name - BONUS! We are working on the proper way to hold a pencil, at my second grade teacher/sister's insistence!

We will check the weather and the calendar everyday. Later on, we'll add saying the days of the week and the months of the year, but not yet.

We will do a daily tracing/coloring activity. Today, we did tracing the wings of a butterfly and then coloring it. The teacher in my naturally prompted - are you coloring inside or outside the wings? (Not that it matters at this point, but a good way to review inside/outside concepts and the parts of the butterfly.)

We will practice cleanup time and transitions. This is the hardest part! Ander just wants to move to the next activity quickly. I learned to hide the next activity.

Ander really needs to work on coordination, so we practice 2 handed ball throws. Then we subtracted a hand by putting it behind our backs, and did 1 handed ball catches and throws. We pushed the ball in circles around the island in our kitchen and counted the rounds. I'm a big fan of getting kids - little or otherwise - active while learning.

Finally, we did a worksheet where we traced the letter A with our fingers and then colored it.

As I type this, we have out some Melissa and Doug architectual blocks (thanks, Parrain Brien) for free play, while watching the Leap Frog Word Factory Video (which has tons of focus on the letter A).

I'm taking careful notes of everything we do today, so that I can better plan next week based on Ander's needs. I'm also keeping all the activity sheets and taking videos/pictures, so I can track progress over time. I'm using a U/N/S (unsatisfactory/needs improvement/satifactory and mastered) system to note what he can and cannot do. Obviously, Ander doesn't know about that system. In a few weeks, once he is used to the idea of school, we will do a red light/yellow light/green light chart for behavior, but not yet.

He did get one timeout this morning. For projects where he works with me directly (like tracing and coloring the letter A), he sits at the big table. But for mere coloring, he sits at the little table (even though I am hovering and assisting, I don't want him coloring - anymore than he already has :/ - on my real table). He resisted sitting at the real table to the point of hitting me, so he got a timeout. I suspect he didn't understand that, yes, school would continue. He was liking it and didn't want it to stop. :)

Loki slept from 9 - 10 a.m., so all went smoothly. But Loki is waking up, and working him into this will be a challenge.

Have I mentioned that, the moment a school is available, I will not be homeschooling, Masters in Education degree or not? One hour in, and I am exhausted and running out of ideas.

Etcetera.

Showing A Preference

2009-03-12T13:09:00.001-06:00

Loki is showing a preference for certain people at certain times. He is particularly fond of my dad, probably because my dad has a "never put a baby down policy." The stinker (my dad, not the baby) hands the baby off for someone else to put him down. So Loki knows he gets to keep arms (which is what we call being held).

Loki also likes anyone who will bring him outside. I'm pretty sure he understands the word "outside."

Oh, and he likes me the most! :) He said, "ma ma ma ma ma" yesterday, at my urging, though I suspect he is still just babbling.

Etcetera.

I Had A Date

2009-03-08T09:07:00.002-06:00

Sunny called on Friday night. "Want me to watch the kids?" I swear, I was in the car and headed to her house faster than you can sneeze. I wanted a date night. I needed a date night. (Said date night ended with me snoring by 10:15 p.m., because I'm old and all, but still...food, over a table, without a burb clothe in sight.)

Alan and I need to have more dates. I like him more after a date. I feel rested and refreshed. Our house is a wreck, but I feel like I might be up to tackling the disaster areas after the date night off. We need to plan these things, but if you plan then, and then have a bad night with the kids or something, date nights become a chore.

We ate at Portobella's. I love that place! The salad dressing is to die for. Then we drank hot cocoa at Barnes and Nobles. (Clarification - I drank hot cocoa. Alan drank some nasty lemon tea stuff. I commented on how I never thought I'd date a tea person, but especially not a COLD tea person.)

Then we walked the overpriced windows of Perkins Rowe. Teeny bopper hell, really, but it was sort of nice to be a couple of decades more mature than the other people in the area. It was very anonymous. And the moon was shiny and the night was clear and cool.

Alan and I never really talk like we do on a date. It's funny how you can live with soemone, day after day, but not connect until you leave the house.

Nice date.

Etcetera.

Other People Need Less Sleep

2009-03-03T11:00:00.002-06:00

I think I understand why I'm so tired. Other people just need less sleep. I need 8 hours. 8 solid hours, and not a moment less. If I sleep less, I am incapacitated. I don't mean I get lazy. I mean I get blazing headaches, I fall asleep while driving, and I got sick, both with stomach illnesses and colds. I do other things faster than other people (like writing a letter or making a trial notebook or cleaning the kitchen), so I guess it evens out in the end.

Unfortunately, my children do not understand that mommy NEEDS eight hours.

At least they seem to have inherited my affliction, but they need to learn that it has to happen AT NIGHT.

Etcetera.

Religious Teachings

2009-03-01T20:27:00.001-06:00

I'm Catholic. Well, I'm mostly Catholic. Except that, on moral grounds and on the basis of my conscience, I support gay marriage, female priests, and keeping the government out of reproductive decisions (though I think people should make those decisions erring on the side of life). I want to teach Ander about Christianity and Catholicism, but I would like to expose him to other religions, and even athiests and agnostics, so that he can make his own decisions about faith. I'm reading "Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs, which is a funny, charming story of a "reverant agnostic" who tries to live the Bible literally. I'm learning a lot that I never knew about the Bible and about other religions. For Lent, I am giving up meat on Fridays (which is the Catholic tradition), but not fasting (as I am a nursing mom, so I am excused). I am not telling you all this to cause controversy. Instead, I need some advice and want you to know where I'm coming from, so you can help.

I am making a Lenten promise of teaching Ander about God everyday. (Except Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest for Catholics, even during Lent. My husband objects, saying it's the most important day to discuss God. Hmm....interesting point. He is free to teach him on Sundays. I'm resting.) I'm trying to teach him basics. Yesterday, I asked him if he knew who God was. "Daddy" Um, no, despite Daddy enjoying the answer. LOL. "Where is God?" In heaven? Not according to my darling child. "In the state capital." (Where Daddy works...seriously, this Daddy equals God thing is a bit much. I suspect it's teaching him the Sign of the Cross...in the name of the Father... ;)) Another day, we talked about Loki (his brother's namesake) and how some people thought (and some still think) Loki is a god. We talked about how we believe in one God, but that other people believe different stuff.

The problem? Despite being a former school teacher, I am out of ideas. How do I give him a broad perspective on religious beliefs? What are some things I can teach him? I know the Catholic stuff, but I will be doing that his whole childhood. So what other stuff can I teach him? Any good activities we can do?

Etcetera.

Starting Solids

2009-03-01T20:04:00.002-06:00

So, at 5 months and 11 days, and one day before Ander's birthday, we are starting solids with Loki. He spit them all out, so that's a start. A bad start. But it was something.

I'm thinking of running a 5K. Yes, I know other people run marathons. But a 5K would be further than I've ever ran in my life. I've been doing Jazzercise, and plan to continue, because it's totally my kind of workout. But I need to supplement it with something more intense. So running it is, I think. And 3.something miles is a lot for me.

And maybe I'll get off my butt tonight and pack my bags for daycare/work/court tomorrow. That'd be a REAL start.

Etcetera.

MIL - What Is Appropriate?

2009-03-01T12:36:00.002-06:00

For Burnell, MIL means "mother in law." :)

I believe that the commandment to honor one's father and mother is a good one. I include MIL in my interpretation of the commandment. That said, I don't believe that honor means obey or do things only their way. But, oy, it's been a long weekend of balancing that commandment with raising my kids, because, man, do those two things clash.

MIL basically things that drive me crazy. One is to ignore me. If Alan isn't around, she doesn't speak to me. If I try to maintain a conversation, she gives a brief answer and then shuts down. (Imagine, if you will, having a phone conversation with Alan. It's just like that, only in person.) If Alan is around, she talks to me just fine, even if he's not talking, so I really wonder if it's personal. I want to believe she is shy or something, but if Alan is on the couch, even snoring, she talks to me just fine. That's not shyness.

She also ignores us. Last night, I asked her to wait one moment for Alan to get her bags out of the baby's closet because the room had little toys (aka tripping hazards) all over the dark floor and because I didn't want her to wake the baby. She said, "no, it's no problem for me to get them." And promptly tripped and woke the baby. It is CLEAR that her problem is that she would rather disturb anyone else, including the baby, than inconvenience Alan. Sigh. I also asked her to keep stuff off the island in the kitchen for two hours, while I got ready for Ander's party. Nope. She kept putting stuff there, and when I would move the stuff and say, "look, I'm moving your water over next to you on the coffee table because I'm using the island to cook on," she would roll her eyes and say, "oh, Kristy" as if I am rediculous for needing space in which to cook and serve food.

She brings tons of leftovers with her, for us to eat?!? or serve ?!? It confuses me. No, we don't need bananas, stale half-eaten cake, or rotting fruit. We NEVER eat it. So why do you keep bringing it, even after we say, "please stop bringing all your leftovers over here. We don't have room in the frig for it."

Oh, and her gifts were extra special. A THIRD toy that laughs and giggles without pause when you throw it across the room. And this despite us asking her not to give loud toys like that anymore.

Plus, she gives Ander too many rules (don't touch the syrup or you'll get sticky, pull your chair to the table, sit down, come over here and hug grandma, but don't touch grandma with your sticky hands...and on and on). He can't follow them all, but no worries. THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCE. Instead, there is constant begging and nagging for him to follow the rules.

She won't make a decision to save her life, but when we go ahead and choose for her after asking three or four times, if we make the wrong call, we get the silent treatment...or worse, the dreaded dramatic sigh.

But the MOST annoying thing...the one that I feel undermines my parenting and leaves a lasting impression in the form of a whiney, stressed out kid...is when she REPEATS everything I say to Ander. Ever watch Galaxy Quest? It's a movie where they mock Star Trek. There is a character, a woman in a short skirt, who repeats whatever the computer says, even though everyone in the room can hear the computer.

Captain: Are the Vulcans coming?
Annoying Character: Computer, are the Vulcans approaching?
Computer: The Vulcans are 2 lightyears away and approaching at 20 knots.
Annoying Character: The Vulcans are approaching, Captain.

This is my MIL.

Kristy: Ander, sit on your knees or bootie.
MIL: Ander, please sit down. Your mommy wants you to sit down. Please sit down for Grandma.
Ander (uncharacteristally, as he usually just politely sits then): No, I want stand.

Kristy: Ander, you have to pick up the blocks before you get another toy.
MIL: Ander, please please pick up your toys or mommy will be mad at you. I don't want her to punish you. Come on, Ander, pick up your toys.
Ander (again, unlike his usual self, because he sees a break and thinks he will get away with it): NOOOO, I want all my toys.

Now, I'm sure you are thinking...just tell her to let you discipline Ander. I do! I'm very blunt. "[MIL], I will take care of this. Let me deal with it. Ander, mommy is not going to tell you again...pick up the toys or no more toys allowed." But NOW I have to be the heavy. Now I have to be the meanie, when, before, I was just the mommy.

I don't have a ton of rules for Ander. I don't believe in micromanaging my children. I do believe in some important rules (knees or bootie on chairs so you don't fall, for exmaple), and I am nonnegotiable on those. But since I am so strict and nonyielding on the rules I do have, I am very easy-going about everything else, figuring that Ander needs to learn to cope and experience natural consequences. But MIL constantly makes up new rules and then begs him to follow them. UGH! First, we don't just make up a rule (like her favorite, "eat your second serving of bacon" - even though he is full and it's bacon and not broccoli...sheesh). We teach a rule, we have a good reason for it, and we follow-through. Second, if there is a rule, there is no begging for Ander to follow it. Rules are there for a reason, and when Ander is 18 and out own his own, he can make whatever rules for himself he wants. And we will love him and accept him, even if we disagree with his choices. That's WHY we let him have so many choices now - so he can learn to make good choices. BUT...rules we make now are nonegotiable. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

Oh, and she volunteered me to play Playdoh with Ander, when I had to nurse the baby. NOT COOL. I told her to stop promising him that I would do things without checking with me first, and she just repeated, "Oh, I'm sure you were planning to play with him." Um, no. AND I JUST SAID I WASN'T, SO WHY ARE YOU DELUSIONAL?!?

Is it passive-aggressive? Is she just thoughtless? Or unintelligent? I cannot tell if it is intentional or not. But I have to deal with the fallout and it's miserable.

Why can't I just be the good DIL and let it go? But I can't, because I feel like my family suffers from it.

And, no, the kids will not pose for one more damn picture.

Karma is going to bite me so hard, isn't it? Or maybe this is karma, biting.

Etcetera.

Let Them Eat Cake...

2009-02-28T11:02:00.003-06:00

...and nachos and hot dogs.

Cake courtesy of Aunt Jen.

Etcetera.

59 Minutes

2009-02-27T13:01:00.002-06:00

MIL (mother-in-law, for the internet ole fogies) is scheduled to arrive in 59 minutes. So far this morning, I've been VOMITED on (at least it was on Alan's side of the bed, right?), sat on the floor of the bathroom singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Fish" ("...those are NOT the right words, Mommy!") for an hour while holding an infant and desperately pleading with the boy who turns three on Monday to potty in the potty and not in the pull-up, spent 30 minutes in a Wal-mart bathroom, and nursed a baby on a bench in Wal-mart (which seemed unsanitary the entire time), unloaded tons of groceries, straightened up the living room and kitchen, dealt with a clint's problem (but. fortunately, not a problem client), and listened to Loki cry anytime I am not holding him, because he's stuffy and it all hurts.

Ander's birthday party is tomorrow. Despite limiting the guest list to only kids very near his actual age who he sees all the time and immediate family, I have almost 50 people coming. (Of course, my sisters peeps and parents make up 10 by themselves.) Talk about overwhelming. I am cooking tomorrow morning, but definitely doing dinner out tonight. And we'll do the gym meet, so I can destress, right?

I'm also trying to get Loki to take a paci. Yes, it means weaning later, but he seems to need to chew and keeps choking on covers and stuffed animals and clothing and vomiting everywhere. ICK!

Even noticed that the more stressed I am, the more disjointed my blog entries are?

Etcetera.

My Lenten Sacrifice

2009-02-25T09:21:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure if this is a sacrifice or not, but for Lent, I'm going to have a conversation about God with Ander everyday during Lent.

I'm reading "A Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs (excellent, funny, easy read, BTW) and that's got me thinking about what I believe - and what I don't believe. I attend Catholic Church on a sporadic-but-getting-better-than-in-college basis. I know I don't believe all the Church's teachings, but I figure it's still better to hear the teachings and then disagree based on conscience than to not listen to the teachings in the first place. After all, how can I disagree in good conscience with something I am not willing to listen to and think about?

But I don't want Ander to just know about the Catholic Church. I want him to know about athiests, and pagans, and fundamentalist. I want him to understand that people have varying beliefs. I want him to have a solid basis to believe - or not believe - in God. My Faith is usually strong (though it has moments of great weakness), mostly because I came to my Faith on my own. I don't mindlessly follow rules, even as I choose to follow many of the "rules." I hope the same experience for my children.

Etcetera.

If We Were Reality TV...

2009-02-24T19:04:00.001-06:00

...like the Duggars or John and Kate Plus 8, what would the cameras show?

Our living room is a mess, with toys and blankets and computer bags and breastpads and breastpump and sheets and baby rug and baby swing. Our kitchen island is covered with crap - purse and jackets and baby carrier. I'm feeding Loki a bottle on the couch. Loki is only wearing a diaper, due to a recent blowout. Ander is in his booster seat, facing the living room tv with the Duggars on it, eating a frozen burrito that we made him "cook" (by pressing the microwave buttons...he he) himself. Ander is only wearing a pull-up, due to a recent blowout. Daddy is doing the dishes in the kitchen. Mommy is wearing a t-shirt and shorts that are too short, due to a blowout of sorts (not from mommy's bootie, fortunately) on the jogging pants she was wearing earlier.

Naked children, tv watching, bottlefeeding (pumped breastmilk, but still...someone is judging somewhere :/), frozen burritos.

I think we'd come off as trashy. We really aren't. Really. But there would be no family bonding dinners, vacations, or spotless houses. There would be too much reality, I'm afraid.

Etcetera.

Two Degrees From Kevin Bacon

2009-02-19T12:04:00.004-06:00

If you date a guy in high school who later appears (in the second to last segment on Monday night) on Jay Leno's Tonight Show the same night as Kevin Bacon, how many degrees removed are you from Kevin, really?

Jay Leno Monday Night

And if you listen to the second to last segment long enough, you get to hear a discussion of Jay Leno's poop. Good stuff. :)-

Seriously, though, turn off the lights and air up the tires. And save the planet.

Etcetera.

Out of Time

2009-02-19T11:20:00.002-06:00

On Monday, my mom/sitter surprised me by anouncing that she could not babysit on Wednesday. (She had a good reason, but I didn't know in time to get a backup.) A friend of the family died, so I had a wake Tuesday night. I got sick on Wednesday (while home with both kids). My husband worked late two days this week and I had to/have to two other days. Friday night we have plans. Saturday morning and night I have plans. I'm sure someone called me about something on Sunday, though I can't quite remember right this minute. Monday I have a backup sitter (which means a whole bunch more prep work getting milk defrosted and pumping). Tuesday is a holiday, but Wednesday I have so sitter, again.

My house is reasonably clean, but can it stay that way? We have tons of company coming over next weekend (not this weekend), including MIL.

I need to be at work. Like a normal person, 8:30 - 3:30 daily, without interruptions. Without sitter issues. Without hubby working overtime (which is only going to get worse).

And that, my friends, is why I never get to blog.

Etcetera.